Enlighten me, Monseigneur!

(Article updated 09/2021) by Mel POINAS

If you’re here, it’s probably because you’re asking yourself this question: what if I were a person with High Intellectual Potential(also called HPI, gifted or zebra)! Definitely, there is life before and life after scratches.

On the HPI trail

I asked myself this question over four years ago. Back then, HPI wasn’t as fashionable a topic as it is today, and I had no idea what a High Potential Profile was. a High Potential profile . I was familiar with the term “gifted”, but like many people, I associated it with the cliché of the introverted genius who succeeds at everything he sets out to do.

Even back then, I was very interested in hypersensitivity, personal development and well-being at work. I was even thinking of retraining as a psychologist and wanted to go back to school (I did a semester of distance learning at the University of Clermont Ferrand, but didn’t go ahead as I ended up moving to New Zealand).

I was passionate about cognitive science. I was determined to understand how the human brain works. Above all, I think I was unconsciously looking for answers to my own inner workings. In the news feed of my social networks, I regularly had suggestions for articles related to psychology, cognitive science and personal development. One day, I came across an article entitled: Discovering that I was gifted as an adult changed my life! (source : Mademoizelle)

A little piqued by curiosity (and by my heart, which was seriously starting to race) I discovered the characteristics of HPI. A revelation! It’s as if everything became clearer after reading this testimony! I recognized myself in every way in this description of High Potential people and in the associated characteristics!

I didn’t feel particularly intelligent, let alone gifted! I hadn’t “done anything exceptional” in my life. I even repeated the year twice… I’d been looking for my path, at every level, for many years (since I can remember) and I’d never really found it! Not to mention the cruel lack of self-confidence I hid behind arrogance, impulsiveness, vulnerability and fear of others. I had trouble connecting because I felt I wasn’t understood. After reading this Mademoizelle article, the little voice lurking in my heart woke up and dared to speak out…

That’s right, trust yourself!

To have an answer to my perpetual questions

In this article, a number of leads caught my eye. Like many zebras, I have a very atypical educational, personal and professional background which, by deduction, makes me an atypical person. I don’t leave people indifferent; generally speaking, they either adore me or can’t stand me. Even if it’s very difficult not to please everyone when you’re HPI (yes, we’d like everyone to like us and we don’t understand when they don’t!)… You can’t please everyone, that’s just the way it is! In the end, it’s just as well that pleasing everyone means pleasing no one…

Then there’s the feeling of being always TOO much! I don’t know if all zebras have this too much but reading other testimonials gives me the impression that they do! I think it’s because we take things so much to heart! We’re too sensitive, too emotional, too fast, too visionary, too lucid, too exalted, too endearing, too attached…

Looking back, it’s sometimes difficult to follow or understand an HPI person. What’s going on in our heads, the emotional rollercoaster… But also the distress we feel when faced with certain situations or misunderstandings. Even if being a zebra is ultimately a wonderful opportunity, you have to learn to tame it.

I’ve often been told: why does everything affect you so much? Why does it bring tears to your eyes? Why are you crying? Why are you getting angry? Why are you so upset? Why are you so involved? In other words, you shouldn’t care, you should let it slide, let it go, it’s not your problem, it’s none of your business, you’re not even concerned…

HPI and Injustice…

But because it’s UNJUST! Unfair, you understand! It makes no sense, no sense at all! Why don’t I just let it go? Because I can’t! I don’t know how to give a damn! I can’t… And we’re all concerned! We all live on the same planet, we’re all human beings, we all belong to the same ship and I’ll never understand why anyone would sabotage the boat that keeps us afloat! When you’re HPI, it’s as if you have a super awareness of the world with a hyper-lucidity that easily becomes anxiety-provoking.

It’s true that I don’t live in Africa, I don’t lack water, and I’ve never known misery, yet when I think of the living conditions in certain villages, of the children, the women, the families, I get sick to my stomach and it goes round and round in my head!

When I think of intensive livestock farming, of violence against animals and human beings, of a world that’s walking on its head and turning upside down, of attacks, wars, people getting into fights over soccer teams or a blinker forgotten in a roundabout, it’s beyond me!

All I want to do when I’m confronted with all this nonsense is hole myself up in a cave and never come out! Turning a blind eye to the absurdity of the world… But, let’s be honest, we can’t live in autarky, at least not entirely! 😉

After all, it’s true that we’re quick to criticize our fellow creatures (and our sometimes destructive personalities), but I recently realized that animals can also be terribly cruel to each other! When I took a closer look at bees, I discovered that they kill males! (I promise, despite the unlikely digression about killer bees, stick around, you might find it interesting!).

The male bee is called a drone. They don’t forage or create honey – they just reproduce! When winter arrives, the female bees kill the drones to preserve their reserves and optimize their chances of survival. A sad fate for these little insects! The human being almost seems like an altar boy…

But let’s leave the wilderness behind and get back to our sheep…

Being a zebra, the answer to all my life’s expectations.

After reading this famous article on giftedness, I spoke with my psychologist at the time to validate a potential HPI. The puzzle was just beginning to take shape and I was just beginning to make sense of it all. In the end, I wasn’t crazy, I just had a different, unidentified way of functioning!

In those days, gifted adults were still called gifted adults. I didn’t really recognize myself in this term, preferring the more symbolic Zebra, hence the title of the blog and book Follow the Zebra. I like HPI because it’s short, practical and consensual, even if I have trouble with the notion of High Intellectual Potential. You can’t blame people for finding it pretentious when you hear: I have more potential than you, so I’m smarter than you…

Zèbre was more neutral, easier to wear and, above all, more useful for explaining the concept of High Potential without being confronted with people’s apriori.

The WAIS test, validation and relief.

I passed the WAIS IV . The WAIS test is not an end in itself, but I think I needed it. I’d lost too much self-confidence to take the test on my own! And only a psychologist can give the test under the right conditions.

Now I know, I’m sure!
I’m HPI, zebra, gifted, High Potential and all the other names people call us.
IQ >> validated ; Emotional overload >> validated ; Hypersensitivity >> validated ; Unconditional optimism >> validated

It’s much simpler now. Every day I learn to live with this particularity and make it a strength :)! And we’ve been doing it for 4 years now – joy and happiness!

Thanks to this identification, my life has changed! The last four years have been full of twists and turns, but I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for for 30 years: my place in the World.
I hope you find yours. 🙂

What about you? Zebra or no Zebra?

If you’d like to find out more about HPI, please click here to read the article.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• Giftedness : Explanations and record of Mel Poinas
• The differences between Giftedness and High Emotional Potential
• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Impostor’s syndrome
• Giftedness : 20 characteristics of complex and laminar profiles
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity

Did you like the article? Don’t hesitate to share it 😊

L’article So, zebra or no zebra? HPI or non-HPI? est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

A true friend is not one who looks on your suffering with sorrow, but one who looks on your happiness without envy.

My family, my loved ones, my friends, my colleagues. All these people are an integral part of my life. They help me to build myself up, to question myself and to ask myself the right questions.

Friendship for a zebra: all or nothing

I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that I’m a zebrabut every time I lose someone I care about, I feel like I’m losing a piece of myself.

Friendship, on paper, is beautiful, formidable, incredible; it’s about sharing, getting to know each other, laughing, complicity and support. In the end, it’s like love without the carnal desire. However, for a high-potential profilebeyond this beautiful definition, friendship can quickly become a source of suffering and malaise.

When you’re gifted, you’re always dreaming of fusional, perfect, whole, uniquefriendships that last a lifetime, but your expectations, demands and high hopes are often disappointed. In the long term, the pursuit of this type of relationship is unsustainable and can even become toxic and unhealthy.

Being the zebra that I am, I’m no exception to the rule. I’ve long believed that friendship, like love, should be intense and eternal.

Zebras and friendship at first sight

When I discovered that I was gifted, I understood why I was always getting myself into improbable and complicated situations. I was always looking for strong feelings. Everything in my life had to be intense and excessive, including friendship.

As a result, I found myself inexorably drawn to people with whom I had a very strong resonance, without knowing why. I knew almost nothing about them, but I wanted them in my life. I was convinced that friendship was not a question of time but of feeling. I relied solely on my instincts and trust it blindly. If the sight of this person had set off such a whirlwind inside me, it must have been for a reason.

In a very short space of time, this person became a huge part of my life and my daily routine. At first, everything went as I’d imagined, but over the long term, I ended up not knowing where I stood.

The emotional impact of strong relationships for a zebra

Emotionally, I was no longer able to manage this type of relationship. I’d reached a sort of breaking point. I didn’t feel comfortable anymore, as if I wasn’t up to it or the other person wasn’t up to it. Everything was getting too loud and I felt like I was suffocating. I was scared too.

My weird, offbeat, dark side was bound to betray me in the end. I didn’t want to take the risk of feeling rejected again. I’d rather be alone, run away and put an end to a friendship that I now saw as a danger.

The rest was always the same. I experienced friendship as something guilt-inducing and invasive, which simply reminded me of my inability to forge long-term bonds. I already had so many issues to wrestle with that I didn’t want to justify myself yet.

So I moved on, trying to find answers, and turned the pages of the book, leaving behind both toxic relationships and beautiful people with whom I’d shared exceptional moments.

A zebra surrounded by friendly people

Generally speaking, I’ve always been surrounded by people. The fact that I’m outgoing and likable in appearance has helped me to talk easily with everyone. Yet I’ve always felt profoundly alone.

I remember when I was a teenager (like many teenagers), I took everything to heart. At this time, everything we feel becomes disproportionate, as if our lives depended on it. If you’re also hypersensitive and a zebra, this period quickly becomes unmanageable, winding and tortured. We don’t have the necessary hindsight to understand that no, it’s not serious.

Then one day, you become an adult. We have real responsibilities, a real role to play. What seemed so unfair and important at the time may not have been as important as we thought.

I may have been mature in many areas, but I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to make the effort. This sort of malaise and feeling of loneliness remained obstacles to my various friendships and, above all, to keeping them.

Friendship since I knew I was a zebra

By discovering that I was a zebra and understanding how I functioned, my relationship with human beings changed completely, and this helped me to calm down.

I no longer see friendship as a constraint and, above all, I’ve realized that I need to take the time to discover others. Instinct can sometimes be deceptive when it comes to human beings and their own projections. Time has become an ally.

Today, I build my friendships, not consume them.

In the end, what changed in my relationship with others was mostly me. Discovering that I was a zebra, and above all that there were lots of other zebras, gifted and high-potential, like me, was a real wake-up call. I could and should finally be myself. The rest was much easier.

The friends I have left know exactly who I am and how I operate. I know sometimes I get on their nerves, but sometimes they get on my nerves too. I’ve just realized that human beings aren’t perfect. It can’t always meet our expectations perfectly.

I believe that the key to friendship is to expect nothing. If you don’t expect anything, you’ll never be disappointed. And this maxim works both ways.

I think I now also know better how to identify people with whom I can maintain caring, authentic and fulfilling friendships.

It’s no longer an effort to take time for them; on the contrary, it’s become a need..

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Do zebras attract each other?
• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Giftedness : 20 characteristics of complex and laminar profiles
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?

Did you like the article? Don’t hesitate to share it

L’article Friendship when you’re a zebra, gifted or High Potential est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

A reminder about Asperger’s syndrome and ASD in general

Since 2013, healthcare professionals no longer officially use the term Asperger’s but autism. However, it is still firmly anchored in everyday language. As our site is aimed at the general public, you’ll find the term Asperger’s in our various articles.

Asperger’s syndrome is a neurodevelopmental disorder on the autism spectrum with several characteristics:

• Communication difficulties
• Difficulty socializing
• An attachment to routines
• A special sensitivity

Having difficulty with their communication skills, people with Asperger’sare still poorly understood by many people. There are a number of preconceived ideas and clichés that misunderstand the reality of Asperger’s syndrome, often confusing difficulties in communicating with an absence or refusal to socialize.
Thinking that people with Asperger’s don’t like to cuddle, can’t be in a relationship or that they can learn to concentrate are preconceived ideas that need to be corrected.

So, let’s go back over what an Asperger’s person is NOT in 10 points.

10 clichés about Asperger’s sufferers

1- They have learning delays

A common cliché among Asperger’s children is that they are behind other students in their learning. It’s a common misconception, but it’s based on the reality that Asperger’s children need special attention in the classroom.

Important

Another cliché is that Asperger’s children must necessarily be in special schools, but Asperger’s syndrome is a broad spectrum and students can develop perfectly well in a public elementary school.

The challenge is above all to be able to receive attentive support so as not to be on the margins of the rest of the students.

2 – They have language delays

The preconceived notion that Asperger’s sufferers have a language delay comes from the same issues as the cliché about learning delay. The Asperger’shave difficulties with communication but not with expression.
This is particularly true when it comes to learning a foreign language: Asperger’s children learn at the same pace as any other student. It may also be due to confusion with dyslexia or dysortography.

3 – They are asocial and emotionless.

This stereotype comes from a misunderstanding of the mentality of Asperger’s sufferers: they have difficulty in apprehending non-verbal signals, and therefore in understanding and using them. People with Asperger’s therefore have difficulty express their emotions which can be falsely perceived as an absence of emotion.
Above all, these difficulties can lead to isolation and disinterest in social interaction.

4 – They live in their bubbles

The Asperger’s pay close attention to detail, and have atypical perception which, coupled with social difficulties, can lead to dropping out. Hence the impression that Asperger’s people don’t listen or pay attention, when in fact their attention is more easily disturbed by external stimuli.

5 – They have extraordinary abilities

A cliché that is mainly due to representations in films and TV series is that Asperger’s people have photographic memory skills or incredible mathematical ability.
It is true that Asperger’shave a perception of detail that can be conducive to this kind of facility. But all these characters remain special cases and, above all, fictional, not at all a representation of Asperger’s syndrome in its vast majority.

6 – They’re geniuses

This is another cliché of Asperger’s characters in fiction. People with Asperger’s often have specific interests, obsessions with certain subjects that fascinate them to the point that some of these fixations never tire them.
This obviously leads Asperger’s people to become experts in specific fields, but it’s by no means a guarantee of genius.

To remember

Representations in fiction of Asperger’s and atypical people in general are important as a mean for neurotypical people to better understand and apprehend the different forms of neurodiversity.
It makes neurodiversity more common in everyday life.

Just don’t fall into the trap of considering characters as representative of the entire Asperger community.

7 – Asperger’s sufferers do not tolerate physical contact

Living with Asperger’s syndrome implies a particular sensitiveness and often an inability to tolerate contact with certain materials. Not being able to stand physical contact is just one example, and certainly not a general rule.
It can also be due to an attack of sensory hypersensitivity on the part of an Asperger’s person, in which case many textures, including physical contact, can become unpleasant.

8 – Everyone is a little bit Asperger’s

Having certain behaviors that are similar to those of Asperger’s is extremely common.
The problem with this stereotype is when it serves to minimize the difficulty that Asperger’s syndrome can represent. Not everyone can find the right words, and can sometimes be sensitive to light or may need to isolate themselves when under pressure, but living with Asperger’s syndrome means having many of these behaviors at once, with an intensity and frequency that greatly affects daily life.
Telling an Asperger’s person that everyone is a little distracted, but that they need to concentrate, is to think that they’re not already making an effort to pay attention.

9 – “It shows”

Asperger’s syndromehas no influence on physical appearance. The most plausible version would be that if you regularly come into contact with a person, and see their behaviours and habits , you could assume that they’re on the autistic spectrum and potentially Asperger’s, although this could very well correspond toanother form of neurodivergence which shows up in a similar way.

10 – Asperger’s syndrome is a disease

This is perhaps the most outdated cliché about Asperger syndromeFortunately, it’s becoming less and less common, but it still exists for some people.
It’s important to remember that Asperger’s syndrome is not a psychiatric illness or affliction; it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder and therefore not treatable. It’s a syndrome that represents a handicap. What can be done is to accompany people so that they can better understand their own functioning, and support them so that they can live with their condition.

A final word

This list of clichés is by not exhaustive, and there are unfortunately many other preconceptions surrounding ASD and Asperger’s syndrome.
The most important thing to remember is that Asperger’s syndrome is a spectrum of individuals who are all unique, and that living with an Asperger’s person means having more or less of these behaviors, with more or lessintensity , and that they are all more or less apparent.
A person doesn’t have to look Asperger’s to be respected as such.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Gifted in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To find out more about this topic, read also :

• 20 signs and characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome
• Zebra or hypersensitive, High Emotional Potential, Asperger’s, Bipolar, Borderline?
• How to manage your emotions
• The different types of hypersensitivity
• DYS disorders
• Giftedness : 20 characteristics of complex and laminar profiles

Did you like the article? Don’t hesitate to share it

L’article 10 Clichés about Asperger’s syndrome est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Welcome to Suivez le Zèbre, the first blog dedicated to neurodiversityin France. Here you will find information about HLP (High Learning Potential), hypersensitivity, autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger’s syndrome), DYS disorders and ADHD.

With the release of the series HPI on TF1 a French TV channel, gifted profiles (high learning potential) are in the spotlight! And it’s a good thingbecause at Suivez le Zèbre, we’ve been trying to democratize HIGH POTENTIAL for almost 6 years now!

At Suivez le Zèbre, we think this is a very legitimate question!

Scientifically, what is being gifted

If we stick to the scientific consensus, to be gifted is: to have abilities clearly superior to the average of the population. Source: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel book, p37.

A person identified as gifted has an IQ above 130 on the WAIS test (scale of 160). In France, this represents 2.3% of the population (1 person out of 44) that is more than 2 standard deviations above the national average located between 90 and 110 on the Gaussian curve.
The WAIS test is administered by a psychologist or neuropsychologist specialised in Giftedness.

Although IQ is the key factor in identifying HPI, theanamnesis (the history of the person) and discussions with the psychologist about cognitive abilities complete the detection.

As we use this single IQ metric through the WAIS in France, then the validation of a gifted person is based on this operational definition of High Potential.

Important

2.3% of the French population is above 2 standard deviations from the norm. 4.8% are above 125; that is to say 1 person out of 21, these thresholds are arbitrary, without biological or cerebral justification . (p40)

On the other hand, cognitive abilities are multiple. Very high scores in some areas (high potential area) may be enough to cause a feeling of deviation from the norm. Note that the presence of discrepancies between scores does not call into question the use of the overall raw IQ to identify the presence of high potential at the global level.

source : Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p44-46

Can we clearly attribute characteristics to people with intellectual disabilities?

If we consider the operational definition of High Potential, the signs and characteristics of the profiles simply correspond to having abilities that are clearly superior to the average of the population in different areas. Obviously, the definition is too vague, especially when addressing the general public and people who are questioning, doubting and looking for concrete answers!

How do you know if you have above-average abilities? How to take courage and dare to push the door of a psychologist without having a minimum of information or reassurance before?

With the help of the book: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel (the new giftedness bible), let’s see together what is validated by neuroscientists as being the cognitive abilities attributed to high potential profiles.

Giftedness: signs and cognitive characteristics

The WAIS test that identifies High Potential individuals is based on 4 major indices:

• The verbal comprehension index
• The perceptual reasoning index
• The working memory index
• The Processing Speed Index

Logically, gifted profiles have cognitive abilities that can be identified via these indices because it is these abilities that allow us to estimate and establish the famous IQ that is directly linked to intellectual efficiency:
–verbal comprehension, a good command of language, vocabulary and concepts
– memory (long term)
– processing speed
– strong problem solving skills
–divergent thinking: the ability to produce a large number of ideas from a single starting point
– There is an important metacognition: literally thinking the thought. Metacognition is related to learning ability as well as IQ.

Examples of divergent thinking:

• finding many words that begin with the same letter
• proposing several tracks to solve the same problem

source: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p161

To remember

Today, scientific studies have highlighted several cognitive correlates.

From a cognitive point of view, Giftednessis associated with many particularities due to the fact that intelligence in the most general sense intervenes in the whole cognitive sphere. In all cases, these are average differences in levels, not qualitative differences.

Gifted people have predispositions:
– in creativity
– to some humor tests
-some moral judgment tests
– in divergent thinking
– in critical thinking
– in resisting many (but not all) cognitive biases
– in metacognition
– in some forms of empathy (the most cognitive)
in intuitive intelligence (but not in intuitive cognitive style)

The scientific community agrees that gifted people have a high level of learning ability.

source : Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p154 and p163

As we have just seen, the correlation betweenHigh Learning Potentialand Intelligence is not in doubt. However, in France, we have a real problem with intelligence, which is rather ambivalent and surprising because it is in our country that there is the most research done by the general public on High Potential.

The craze for this subject goes far beyond the medical-professional sphere, as we saw with the success of the TF1 series HPI, 10 million views! The biggest success of the channel in the last 10 years.

Even more surprising is the assertion that the High Learning Potential is innate and that the IQ varies little (if at all) between birth and death of an individual (without illness or accident impacting IQ during life) goes against our social and societal model which advocates equal opportunity and nurtures a school system based on this same premise. Everyone is put on the same footing despite their different functions and different.

This is all the more sad when you consider that the neuroscientists emphasize the correlation between Giftedness and “school or academic performance when it is observed in several intellectual disciplines (mathematics, philosophy, languages, sciences, letters, etc.). The strong link between intelligence and academic success is indeed well established.”

source : Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p164

This observation explains three things: the limits of our French school system, the clichés about Giftedness and the jealousy towards people with high potential who are quickly categorized.

Problem: the majority of gifted people suffer from an imposter syndrome and do not identify themselves as intelligent people but rather see themselves as out of step!

Identify yourself as gifted when you don’t think you’re smart!

This is one of the many reasons I decided to create Suivez le Zèbre in 2017. When I heard about gifted people, I couldn’t identify with them because I didn’t think I was smart or in other words had superior cognitive abilities. On the contrary… I had a hard time finding my place and I always attributed my success to luck or I didn’t consider it as a success but as something normal.

Another point is that I have not always excelled in my studies, I have even repeated two years of school. Not because of difficulty, it’s true, but because of laziness. And finally, the essential reason why I wanted to democratize High Potential and make it accessible to as many people as possible: to reduce the time of awareness.

I found out I was gifted at age 30. Many would say it’s young, but I feel like I’ve wasted precious years and had a bit of a rough go of it before I was detected. So, if thanks to this blog, I can save many of you precious years, I will have succeeded in my mission!

The limit of the scientific literature on giftedness

This is the limitation of scientific books on Giftedness: they do not take into account the human dimension of the quest for identity of individuals affected by a neuroatypia such as HPI. Few people will admit to having above-average abilities, especially women who tend to have a greater impostor phenomenon.

For the past 6 years, on our blog, we have noticed that the profiles that are looking for answers about their identity and arrive on the High Potential track have common characteristics. We assume that people who come to our site are looking for answers. Perhaps the gifted people who don’t question themselves don’t have these characteristics at all! But our site is not for them.

In our experience, here are the signs or personality characteristics identified by Suivez le Zèbre in its gifted readers (since validated and detected by psychologists through a psychological assessment).

When you look closely, the majority of these characteristics are related to the cognitive abilities that were previously discussed in the book: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel.

Signs and characteristics of giftedness (which is our responsibility)

1- an IQ very close to (125) or higher than 130 (on the WAIS test)
2- the need to be stimulated
3- great sensitivity which can sometimes turn into emotionalism when there are difficulties in managing emotions
4- the exacerbated quest for meaning
5- a desire for absolute justice
6- a hyper awareness of its environment
7- fear of rejection
8- A tendency to over-adapt in order to please or to be accepted but which often leads in the long term to exhaustion or a depreciation of one’s image and thus to an identity crisis
8- fast and divergent thinking (tree thinking has never been scientifically proven). The ability to make connections is one of the strengths of high potential people
9- Resilience, a capacity to adapt very quickly
10- a hyper awareness of its environment and an increased resonance with others (humans, animals, nature)
11- intolerance to stupidity, disrespect, stupidity and mediocrity
12- a problem with authority (especially when it is considered illegitimate)
13- a vision of a world where all individuals and living things are interconnected
14- a great capacity to question, to doubt, to change point of view and to adapt
15- sometimes the ability to synesthetize (not the case for all gifted people)
16- for some, hyperesthesia
17- the tendency to procrastinate because we can feel overwhelmed by all these ideas or projects
18- generally speaking, a brain that works at full speed and rarely takes a vacation!

To avoid the barnum effect, you can ask yourself the following question: how intensely do I live and feel these characteristics?

Giftdeness: Intensity of Life!

Personally, I think it is this particular characteristic that will really define a gifted person: intensity!

In gifted people, we find this ability to make connections, to create projects, to want to move forward, to think, to exchange and it never stops!

We can also meet people with overflowing emotions! A bit like Morgane in the TF1 HPI series. Emotions seem almost uncontrollable as if it were impossible to contain themThey must be expressed at all costs. This characteristic would even be more common in people with ADD/ADHD. Attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity. Again, the link does not seem far-fetched when we know thatone out of threegifted people may also have ADD/ADHD.

Some gifted people are also annoying that terribly endearing, a duality that is quite common in these profiles: emotion on the skin and a gymnastic mind that never takes a break! In any case, if there is any doubt, the best way to be sure is to be accompanied by a specialized psychologist in order to carry out an assessment.

Thanks for reading, Mel

You find yourself in the characteristics of HPI, what if we tried a first approach together?

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS‘ book . With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Impostor’s syndrome
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity
• Our book Suivez le Zèbre

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L’article Giftedness: 18 signs and characteristics to understand, help and identify est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Article updated on May 5, 2025

My path to the WAIS IV test and recognition of High Potential

How I discovered I was Gifted (2017) and then, a few years later, ADHD (2023). This is often one of the first questions I’m asked when I talk about neurodiversity.

So here’s my story. Not the story of an enlightened discovery, but the story of a path of construction, between ease, discrepancies, questioning, therapy, doubts… and finally relief. Because that’s what discovering your neuro-atypia is all about: a path towards your identity.

When I was little, I didn’t really know if I was different. By adolescence, you’re trying to be, so the question never arose. But I’ve always had this feeling of being different, which became even more pronounced as I entered the adult world.

A gap I noticed in high school and during my post-graduate studies

It was especially during my graduate studies that I felt at odds. It was hard for me to see myself in the future. Whether I was doing an internship or a sandwich course, the professional world seemed absurd. The others were making it. I couldn’t. I felt misunderstood, unstable and exhausted.

I didn’t understand and people didn’t understand me. It was a real dialogue of the deaf!

Looking back, I realize that some years were sweeter than others… but at the time, I didn’t make the connection between what I was experiencing and what I was feeling.

A pattern that repeats itself: personal and professional instability

I always found interesting jobs easily… but never for very long.
Every year, I changed: team, company, project. And in my personal life, it was the same: short, intense relationships, then nothing. The bond broke. Either because thepeople who managed me didn’t get on at all, or because I quickly got bored and needed a change. It was exhausting. On the personal side, it was a bit the same: I was quickly overwhelmed and the temptation to run away was always there.

I know now that I should have perceived here the disorders associated with ADHD… When you don’t know what it is, it’s hard to identify! But deep down, I knew there was an explanation….

The quest for answers… and the waltz of diagnoses

I tried several therapies to try and understand. It took me a while to find the first answers. About ten years, after all! All the shrinks said more or less the same thing:

“You’re normal (implied, no mental health issues), maybe a little extralucid, impulsive but resilient and integrated enough for therapists…”

But deep down, it didn’t suit me. So I immersed myself in a lot of reading: psychology, personal development, personality disorders… This was between 2005 and 2015. At the time, Gifted and NDD (neurodevelopmental disorders) weren’t well known, so I even considered borderline disorder.

But the psychiatrist quickly referred me to a psychologist specializing in cognitive science. With her, I was able to move forward and take a step forward in discovering my identity. She saw my potential. Not “gifts”, not “talents”, just… potentials. And above all, the critical situations created by ADHD at the time: my mental agitation, my need for constant stimulation, my decision-making in “everything, right away” mode, but also my phases of sudden exhaustion.

The discovery of giftedness

Cognitive-behavioural therapy helped me to better manage my ADHD-related disorders. After a year’s work, I began to talk about High Potential and was referred to a specialist psychologist to take the WAIS IV, Weshcler’s scale for detecting High Potential in adults.

I waited three months for this test.

Passing the WAIS IV

The test takes place in three stages:

1. An initial 1-hour interview
2. WAIS IV test (approx. 2h to 2h30)
3. A feedback meeting

It’s intense, sometimes confusing. But if you’re comfortable with the therapist, it goes well.

How much does it cost? Around €300, depending on the region. See the list of specialized shrinks by region here

The first appointment lasts an hour, and is used to take an anamnesis. It enables the psychologist toassess your background and the way you function. In my case, ADHD-related disorders were glossed over because I was compensating a lot. And at the time, neuropsychologists had no training in comprehensive cognitive assessment. Today, there would certainly be little doubt about my dual Gifted and ADHD profile…

WAIS test: good conditions are essential

The psychologist is there to support you throughout the test. And it’s important to feel confident, in a reassuring environment. Why? Because it allows you to stay focused, without letting yourself be overwhelmed by stress or parasitic thoughts such as: “Does he think I’m bad? Am I answering correctly?”

During the test, it’s sometimes possible to find out whether your answers are right or wrong. Personally, I needed this live feedback, so that I could see where I stood: was I completely off the mark, or was I doing okay? But then again, everyone’s different. Some people prefer not to know at all, to stay focused.

Why I took the test

I needed a “yes” or a “no”. Not a label, but a marker.
Am I Gifted? Or just confused, maladjusted, “crazy”?

Some people don’t need to take the test. And that’s just fine!
But I needed it. To understand. To put in a word. To free myself.

The only person who knows what to do or not to do is you! Never let anyone choose for you, and above all never let anyone judge your choices or judge you for your choices.

Some people need clear validation. This was my case.
I had to know. I couldn’t go on with this nagging doubt:
“Is that it, or am I just completely off my rocker, unstable, maladjusted… crazy?”

And then there are others for whom it’s not necessary.
They know who they are, and that’s enough for them. They don’t need a test or an extra box to tick to feel legitimate. And frankly, so much the better!

It’s really up to each individual. There’s no right or wrong way to do it.

But if you want to earn the famous Gifted / Surdoué “badge” – because yes, we love labels in France – then you need to take a test with a certified psychologist.

It seems to me that Mensa also offers an assessment, but I suggest you find out more directly.
And a little clarification: in schools, classes for high-potential children often give priority to those who have already been detected via an official test.

My advice if you’re hesitating to take the WAIS

If you’ve been sensing this discrepancy for a long time…
If you’ve always operated “differently”…
If you’re trying to understand your own operating mode…

So maybe WAIS is a step to consider.

But whatever you decide:
You’re legitimate.
Your feelings count.
And you don’t need a number to be valuable.

What about ADD/ADHD?

After I was diagnosed as Gifted, part of my story became clear. In fact, I created Suivez le Zèbre around this time. In 2017, Gifted had become a bit of a catch-all box! So my ADD/ADHD personality traits were grafted onto the WAIS results. And I found myself without a solution for managing the fluctuations in my mood.

Some Gifted profiles show highly heterogeneous results on the WAIS, with high performance on some subtests and greater difficulty on others.
This type of profile can mask another associated disorder, such as ADHD, which is known as a differential diagnosis.

In my case, it was after a burn-out in 2023 that the subject came up again. I had already been identified as Gifted for several years, but certain things remained unclear: procrastination above all! Then increasingly frequent forgetfulness and increased mental agitation, a freewheeling brain with less patience and therefore more impulsivity…

As cobblers often wear the worst shoes, I was well aware of the characteristics of ADHD, and I quickly made the connection. I underwent another neuropsychological assessment, and was then officially diagnosed with ADHD by a specialist psychiatrist. For a long time, Gifted allowed me to compensate. But the day a grain of sand got in the way – in this case, a burn-out – my brain was no longer able to mask the dysfunctions linked to ADHD.

If your WAIS test seems incoherent, or if you still feel profoundly out of step despite Gifted detection, a complementary assessment can really make a difference.
In particular around ADHD or other neurodevelopmental disorders (NDD) often still unrecognized in adulthood, all the more so when you’re a woman.

Have confidence in yourself

The WAIS test can be a step, a revelation, a trigger… but it ‘s not an end in itself. In my case, it was a step that enabled me to discover my ADHD.

So pass it on if you feel the need. But above all, be confident in yourself, with or without a number, with or without a label.

Your value is not just a score. The WAIS only measures part of who you are – within a standardized, often fixed framework. And the norm isn’t an absolute truth, it’s just an average. What really counts is what you do with your uniqueness.

Because that’s what neurodiversity is all about:
Learning to live together, each with his or her strengths, challenges and nuances.

As American diversity activist Verna Myers rightly puts it:

“Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a choice.”

To find out more :

Discover my testimonial book on giftedness and the routines that helped me rebuild my life.

Mel POINAS

To go further, you can read

• Find a Gifted psychologist
• Personality test for atypical profiles
• Online IQ test, caution danger?
• 20 characteristics of Gifted profiles
• How to take the WAIS test

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L’article How I discovered I was Gifted… then ADHD est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Alice, my teenage goddaughter, asked me this question one Christmas when she was 11 years old while I was writing an article on my blog.

How to explain without pretension, what is a gifted person and what it means to be gifted? 

I find it much easier to explain it to a child. Children still have an open-mindedness that has not been ‘normalised’ by society. And they are also less judgemental, which makes them more open-minded.

So, what is a zebra?

The term ‘zebra’ is officially entered the French dictionary in 2020 and will be present in the print editions. Jeanne Siaud-Facchin used this term to describe and identify gifted, high potential or ‘philo-cognitive’ people (Fanny Nusbaum).

A zebra is a person who has an IQ above 130 and a heightened sensitivity to the world. To be a zebra, one must have both characteristics, emotional sensitivity alone is not enough.

A gifted person has a brain with its own analytical capacities. Thinking is said to be tree-like or divergent (a more scientific term), with one idea leading to another and so on.

The speed at which information travels in our brains is said to be much faster, up to three and a half meters per second, compared to two per second for non-zebras people.

This rapid flow of information would allow gifted people to have a wider field of vision on a given situation and to capture certain details more easily and quickly. It is a purely cognitive functioning related to highly developed neuronal connections (synapses).

This atypical functioning has allowed to gather a certain number of characteristics that are expressed in all individuals with this functioning: discover these characteristics.

One is born a zebra, one does not become one.

Am I a zebra?

To know officially, you can take the WAIS test. Of course, before taking the test, there is first the self-assessment diagnosis. By reading books or articles on High Potential, you can already have some clues about your own functioning.

HIP: Between self-evaluation and official test

Even though self-evaluation is necessary to find the trail of stripes, the only way to be identified as a ‘zebra’ is to take the test with a certified psychologist. Humans are full of cognitives biases that distort their judgment, especially when it comes to their own personality. To avoid the Barnum effect, I advise you to go get tested. Of course, you are free to do it if you want. It is not an obligation. However, you cannot claim to be a zebra until you have been tested.

You can make an appointment with a psychologist specialised in giftedness. The good news is that there are more and more of them so there is less delay.

Don’t panic, it will be fine

I would rather reassure you about the discovery, or possible questioning of: am I a ‘zebra’?

The first fear is often related to the test. I finally have a piece of the answer, what if I fail the WAIS test? What if, in the end, it is not that?  And how can we really evaluate a brain? If we are gifted, do we look alike all other gifted people? Besides, I am not really intelligent…

The incredible world of giftedness

All these questions are completely legitimate, when one begins to be ‘confronted’ with the world of giftedness. Everyone has their own opinion on the matter. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming with the flow of information. There are different profiles: laminar and complex (Fanny Nusbaum), there are highly sensitive and emotional people who talk about High Emotional Potential, while others only focus on intelligence and IQ.

When I started the blog, in 2017, I was in explorer mode. I did a lot of research on the subject. I wanted to understand everything about giftedness, gifted individuals, zebras, high potential individuals, etc. It had become my new passion. However, today my approach is different.

How to identify what is true and what is fake?

I realised that even professionals have difficulty agreeing. There is no consensus among psychologists, doctors and health professionals to accurately define what a gifted person is.

However, we cannot blame them; the brain is so full of surprises! In the positive side, the subject is being debated. More an more scientific and concrete studies are being conducted to try to find answers. Fanny Nusbaum and Olivier Revol have already identified two types of functioning among zebra profiles: laminar and complex. It is a starting point.

Taking a step back to avoid getting lost: every human being is unique

We are trying to define what is a zebra profile or a High Intellectual Potential person (synonyms), there is still a long way to go. We are all different and we are influenced by our heredity, our environment, our education, our life course… Let’s keep this in mind to avoid downward slides, communitarianism and the emphasis on intelligence as a value criterion.

I am convinced that there is no truth. That the only truth we have is our own, that of our emotions, that of our vision, that of our interpretation… especially in human relationships/ interactions.

I repeat this often because I think we need to be able to take a step back and have our own opinions, in full awareness and not make generalities from personal experience. I am one zebra among thousands of others and what I say is only the way that I live my giftedness.

Nevertheless, we will try to answer some questions to try to better understand what a zebra is.

Are all zebras alike?

Of course, when you are gifted we share common characteristics with other zebras. For me, being a zebra, or gifted, or HIP, or however you want to define yourself, means having an atypical relationship with the world,with society, with rules (especially authority), with people, with animals, with consciousness, and having very quick analytical and problem-solving skills.

There are things that we do very quickly… And there are also many things that we don’t understand because they don’t seem logical or fair. We don’t always agree with the world we live in. A world devoid of logic and common sense that very often makes it difficult for us to adapt. This can explain why our  relationship with others is sometimes complicated.

The feeling of being misunderstood

We feel misunderstood. It is as if we were not meant to understand the relationship codes: what we can do and what we should not do. It is also very difficult to understand what the other person does not understand…

But relational or social intelligence is something that needs to be worked on. We are used to relying on our own innate intelligence rather than our acquired one, and with a little perseverance, we can manage and control our emotions. Fortunately, not all zebras are alone, misunderstood and friendless. Just as people who are not zebras can be lonely and friendless. There are some very nice gifted people, and I am sure there are some not so nice ones, just like the human being and the society we live in.

Once again, there are no rules, no general truth.

Being a zebra, as if life were more colorful!

But sometimes this intensity, this emotional overflow will also make us more vulnerable. Vulnerable to hypersensitivity, to addictions, to manipulators, to questioning. Sometimes we completely block on an event or a situation that made us feel too much emotions.

Those around us do not understand why we are so preoccupied. Why can’t we put the situation into perspective? It gives us a nutty side!  When something really gets me worked up, when I block, when I can’t get over it, I say that I have my little bike spinning in my head.

Is the WAIS a reliable test?

You often ask me if the WAIS test is reliable and enough.

For the most sceptical (which I understand), the question is often can we assess emotional intelligence  as well as cognitive intelligence with a test?

I don’t know if we can assess emotional intelligence, but emotions comes from a reception and interpretation of our cognitive system.

Everything is related:
– Our thoughts
– Our emotions
– Our behavior
– Our body’s reactions

I believe there is an unfailing link between our emotions, our thoughts and our behavior, and that all of this is cognitive intelligence.

What is certain is that the test can evaluate the reasoning capacities and the speed of information processing as well as the adaptation facilities that we have.

Why the WAIS?

The WAIS (currently Version IV) is a test that was originally created to assess people with intellectual disabilities. However, specialists realized that it could also be used in the other direction and assess people with analytical skills.

Personally, I think that we should take some distance with the results of the test. Of course, it is reassuring when you’ve been looking for, during a part of your life, why you felt a bit out of place to finally have an answer.

For me, it was a great relief to finally understand that I was not crazy! However, I put into perspective the number I was given. 120 / 130 / 140 / 150 / 160… Do we really want to define ourselves only with and IQ? And continue this society of hyper-performance? I don’t! I mean, if you have 130, you are worth less than someone who has 160? What about the non-zebras then?

Are they considered inferior because they have an IQ of 110 or 102? Yes, it is absurd when you read it… So let’s no fall into that. Let’s not define ourselves only by this number and let’s not consider others by it. 

Let’s keep in mind that this test is there to help us understand who we are by allowing us to discover our cognitive functioning.

A test does not define who you are or your value

For my part, I just needed to understand. To put my finger on the difference.

Now that I understand, I don’t want to lock myself into this simple and unique ‘role’ of zebra. I needed it at one point. I was reassured that I was not alone and that there was a rational explanation for my sometimes offbeat behavior.

Or at least not defining myself solely through that prism. I am, and you are, richer and more complex than that!

The test will only put another label, stick you in the box: more gifted than the norm. If the norm even exists! Because in the end, there are many zebras on earth.

In France, it is estimated that 2% to 10% of the population is gifted. Why such a large gap? Well, because 2.3% is the official figure but there are so many undetected people that it can’t be 100% reliable.

Anyway, today, there is no better way to detect giftedness than this test. 

Conclusion, what is a zebra?

Finally, it is very difficult to define what a gifted person is. Besides, there are some very empathetic gifted people, others less so, others who are maths geniuses, others who are art geniuses… Our potentials do not express themselves in the same areas.

It’s hard to really categorize us, and that’s good.

I believe that the speed at which we think and make associations of ideas or projects are quite characteristic of our functioning. If we are not stimulated, we get bored very quickly. This is our worst enemy as a zebra: boredom!

There’s also the fact that our cognitive system is quick off the mark, which makes us feel things quickly and intensely.

Being a zebra is one more characteristic, but it does not define ALL of who you are. Gifted or not, the most important thing is to feel good about yourself and be yourself. 

I discovered personal development at the same time as being gifted, it really helps me in my daily life, especially to put things in perspective and to silence the little bike in my head.
I’m also working on the notions of mindfulness and letting go and that calms me down a lot. 

The most important thing is to find one’s place in a world
that leaves us very little.

You can find  a list of zebra characteristics in this article: thezebra’s characteristics.

To go further, you can read

• Giftedness : 20 characteristics of complex and laminar profiles
• What is being Gifted?
• Giftedness : Explanations and record of Mel Poinas
• The best books about High Learning Potential
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• Giftedness FAQ

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L’article What is a zebra person? est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Our advice

Do you recognize yourself in the characteristics of certain neurodiversity profiles and you think you might be neuroatypical? The team has developed various tests to help you get to know yourself better and, above all, to reassure you before seeking professional help.

Of course, an online test will never replace a practitioner. Think of it as a first step in identifying your neuroatypism.

In order to obtain your results and promote the work of our team, we ask you to contribute 1 euro (1 euro = 1 coffee for our tribe!).

If you like our work, feel free to buy us a whole packet of coffees

Discover our different online tests without registration

The results are automatically displayed on a new page after payment. You just have to wait a few seconds.

We don’t save your tests. There are no registrations or cookies on Suivez le Zèbre /RGPD Friendly). You can take a screenshot to remember.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

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Important

Please note that Suivez le Zèbre does not use cookies, and we do not record results, since our tests do not require registration!
Once you’ve made your contribution to the team via our banking partner Stripe, wait until your results page is displayed, because after that, they can no longer be retrieved.

Our advice

Put the results into perspective: the real WAIS test lasts two hours. We offer these tests to give you an idea of how you’re functioning, but they are in no way certifying.

The reliability of our tests is relative, so if you want to go further, don’t hesitate to contact a specialized practitioner such as a neuropsychologist, a psychologist for giftedness or hypersensitivity, your GP, or a psychiatrist for autism.

Thank you for your confidence
Enjoy your test with Suivez le Zèbre!

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book based on her experience. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Learning Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

La boutique du Zèbre

Des livres, des goodies, des accessoires pour se sentir bien au quotidien et (se) faire plaisir !

Je me fais plaisir

MENSA France tests

Mensa offers tests all over France, once or several times a year depending on the town.
The cost of the Test is 50 euros (25 euros for students and the unemployed).

L’article Our no-registration online personality tests est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

My gifted career path has taken me from digital marketing and organizational strategy to HR marketing and recruitment issues.

Passionate about human beings and psychology, I quickly realized that very few managers, executives and company directors are familiar with the zebra profile.

Who is the zebra, the gifted, the high-potential employee?

What’s certain is that the gifted employee is clearly an atypical profile in the company!

Strong professional expectations and easily identifiable characteristics.

It is an employee who has a very demanding nature with others, whether with colleagues, direct managers, teams or hierarchies. If gifted people are so demanding of others, it’s first and foremost because they’re so demanding of themselves, and hate failure. One of his biggest fears is that he won’t be able to carry out the mission for which he was hired.

Gifted people have impostor syndrome, always thinking that they owe their successes to chance… or that they don’t deserve the trust they’ve been given because they haven’t done anything exceptional to deserve it? Either he doesn’t think he’s up to the task: fear of failure and, above all, an inability to put failure into perspective…

This self-imposed pressure means that he has very high expectations of the company he works for.

A zebra is willing to work for a company, but only if it deserves it! This mode of operation, very perfectionist, also very dichotomous – it’s a hit or miss – can make him come across as rigid or haughty. Quite simply because the way in which it raises an issue will, for the most part, be clumsy.

A high-potential person has a very strong emotional sensitivity. in a quest for ideal, perfect work,

L’article How do you manage a high learning potential, gifted or zebra profile? est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Do you think you or someone you know might be autistic?

Important

Since 2013, healthcare professionals no longer use the term Asperger syndrome. All people with autistic features are grouped together under the term AUTIST.

If you want to be sure before making a diagnosis, the Suivez le Zèbre team has created a test to find out if you have an Asperger’s profile.

Asperger’s, a neurodevelopmental disorder

The Asperger’s syndromeis a neurodevelopmental disorder , not a psychiatric illness. The aim of diagnosis is to find a balance in one’s life, so that autism is not seen as a handicap in everyday life. The diagnosis will enable the neuroatypical to better understand their behaviors and receive support to live more serenely.

Asperger’s syndrome is still little-known, and the general public still harbors many clichés, whether through TV series or Elon Munsk. Unfortunately, many healthcare professionals still regard Asperger’s syndrome as a treatable or even curable condition. In fact, we can work on brain function and re-educate certain functions, but we can’t control everything.

On the other hand, by working on the environment and promoting inclusion, autism can become a real strength, because it is an integral part of the person’s identity.

Our advice

Check with the various health experts to make sure they know all there is to know about autism. There are procedures validated by the French National Authority for Health. Trusting your healthcare professional is essential if you are to understand how he or she works, and feel supported beyond the stereotypes of autism.

Is autism a disability?

It’s not the autism itself that’s a handicap, but the behaviors or functions it can generate. In fact, there are as many forms of autism as there are people with autism,

A form of autism for every autistic person

Each autistic person will express him/herself in an individual way, despite common characteristics. However, in France, autism is recognized as a disability, including Asperger ‘s syndrome, which is no longer recognized by the French National Authority for Health.

Why be diagnosed with Asperger’s?

For a start, because getting to know yourself better is a chance to move forward and find the place that suits you best.

On the administrative side, a diagnosis of Asperger’s autism can be used to contact the MDPH (Departmental House for the Disabled) to obtain various certifications and allowances depending on the age and activity of the person recognized as having Asperger’s ASD. Being recognized as disabled means greater inclusion in the workplace. An autistic person with a recognized disability will have a better chance of finding a company.

Important

Asperger’s diagnosis can take a long time. If you have any doubts, talk to your doctor first. If he’s not well trained in the subject, you can turn to an association to help you find the right health professionals. This recommendation will give the organization you contact more details, and your application will be taken more seriously.

Diagnosis of Asperger’s autism, who to consult?

Association of Autism Resource Centres (ANCRA)

The ANCRAs are regional public centers providing assistance to people with ASD and training in the care of people with autism, including Asperger’s. These centers bring together a range of health specialists who can carry out diagnostic tests.

To contact them, just send an e-mail or make a phone call to your local ANCRA. If it offers diagnoses, you can fill out an information file. In fact, they often ask for a doctor’s referral.
If your application is accepted, you will then receive an initial appointment with a psychiatrist, followed by appointments with various experts to establish the diagnosis.

ANCRAs are very comprehensive and therefore their diagnosis is both reliable and better able to detect complex cases such as Asperger syndrome. The test is also covered by the ‘Caisse primaire d’assurance maladie’ (local sickness insurance fund)
On the other hand, the ANCRAs are often overwhelmed, and it can easily take 1 to 3 years to reach a diagnosis.

It’s a secure solution, but one that will require a great deal of patience.

Psychiatric centers

The medical and psychological consultation centres are public medical centers covering a wide range of medical activities. Many of them can diagnose Asperger’s and ASD in general. As we do not specialize in Asperger profiles, these centers can above all provide diagnoses for less complexcases whose behaviors stand out a great deal.

To remember

If you’re the parent of a child you suspect of having Asperger’s syndrome, there are also specific establishments for children: Medico-psycho-pedagogical Centre (CMPP) and centres for early medicosocial action, medicopsychological centres (MPCs).

The advantage of these CMPPs is that they are quick to diagnose and are covered by social security. It’s also possible to keep in touch with the various professionals involved to keep track of progress.

But the drawback is the reliability of the diagnosis. It is in these centers in particular that we are likely to come across professionals who can give outdated conclusions using methods that are not approved by the highest health authorities.

Private practitioners

A number of psychiatrists, neurologists and neuropsychologists can diagnose autism, and some even specialize specifically in detectingAsperger’s syndrome.
To do this, you need to get in touch with a professional who, after discussions and appointments, may decide to start a diagnosis by running a series of tests with a team of professionals he or she has brought together to produce an assessment.

Much faster than other methods, and with the added advantage of guaranteed support and follow-up.

You can contact your local Asperger’s association to find out about qualified professionals in your area.

Finally

Getting a diagnosis autistic disorderis not only a practical tool for obtaining help and advice, it’s also a great way to reassure yourself and develop personally. By putting words to your behaviors, it becomes easier to recognize which problems stem from your Asperger’s syndrome, and finding solutions becomes simpler.

To find out how your diagnosis will work, we’ve also prepared an article on the subject:

Need some reassurance? Suivez le Zèbre has created a test to find out if you have an Asperger’s profile. In exchange for a free coffee for our team (equivalent to 1 euro), we’ll guide you along the path to diagnosis.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Gifted in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To find out more about this topic, read also :

• 10 Clichés about Asperger’s syndrome
• 20 signs and characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome
• What is an atypical profile?
• What is neurodiversity?
• WAIS-IV test how does it work?
• Zebra or hypersensitive, High Emotional Potential, Asperger’s, Bipolar, Borderline?
• Is my child precocious?

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L’article How to get diagnosed with Autism (formerly Asperger’s) est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Welcome to Suivez le Zèbre, the first blog dedicated to neurodiversityin France. Here you will find information about Giftedness (High Learning Potential), hypersensitivity, autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger’s syndrome), DYS disorders and ADHD.

It’s not always easy being the partner of a gifted person! Relationships are complicated enough. As soon as you start moving in together, living with a zebra (synonymous with gifted) can be confusing!

Living with a zebra man or woman!

May the force be with you!

Love for zebras is one of the most intense feelings in the world, in the galaxy, in the universe!

How do you deal with this when you yourself are not gifted, but rather have your feet firmly planted on the ground?

Living with a gifted person: a daily headache?

Sometimes, our partner may even wonder if it’s really the same person he’s dealing with! Is there not a little schizophrenia or bipolarity in all this??? No, no, no!

People with high potential have an atypical way of functioning, which can cause them to switch from one mood to another quite quickly… I think it has to do with hypersensitivity and emotionality, which we sometimes find hard to manage…

I’m Mel Poinas, founder of Suivez le Zèbre. I was identified gifted at the age of 30 after taking the WAIS 4 test with a neuropsychologist.

it’s hard for me to tell you what it’s like to live with a gifted person in all objectivity… Which would make me ask myself even more questions when I’m already asking myself enough.

I took the easy way out and asked Julia, my wife of several years, to testify. I hope our testimony will speak for itself and help many gifted / non-gifted and even gifted / gifted couples!

Everyday life as a couple with a gifted person

For the first time on Suivez le Zèbrewe’re going to write a 4-handed article!
And personally, I was really looking forward to it! I’ve been bugging her for weeks about writing this article because I also really wanted to get her take on our relationship.

For those new to the concept of zebra, gifted or high potential, you can find out more about zebra characteristics here >> Gifted characteristics from an adult zebra!

Otherwise, for a more traditional definition in the rules of the art, go to >> Characteristics of gifted people, high potentials, zebras…

Let’s go for a sort of me-to-her interview! For once you won’t get my point of view, but the insight of someone who is not gifted and who didn’t know about giftedness until she met me.

For you, what is a gifted person, a zebra, a high potential?

I didn’t really know anything about giftedness until I met you. On a daily basis, it’s so much a part of you that I can’t separate it from your qualities and faults.

Today, when I think about it, for me, being gifted means having potential in one or more particular areas, a more developed aptitude for certain things.

There’s the analytical side too, I can see it, you’re always thinking, asking yourself lots of questions, about everything and anything.

It’s kind of weird because you’re a very subtle person and clever, but when it comes to huge things, you’ll take everything at face value! You’ve got a good sense of humor but no second degree, and you take things to heart very quickly.In fact, you’re sensitive!

I’d say that living with a gifted person is like living alternately with a child trapped in an adult body or an old man trapped in an adult body (laughs).

How does this translate into our daily lives?

Well you can be stubborn, when you want to do something one way, it’s going to be hard to get you to do it any other way! Plus, you’re an ultra-perfectionist, you like things to be done well, or at least your way (having said that, that’s very cool, I’m excluding the fact that you’re messy). Laughter, mood swings, lots of projects.

In the kitchen, you like to organize knives, dishes, groceries and the fridge in your own way. And I have no choice but to adapt to you.

You’re a bon vivant who loves life and tries to take things as easy as possible to avoid setting on your little bike.

You don’t like things being moved because you don’t like having to look for them when you need them. The “everything in its place” and the “it makes more sense to do it this way“…

Even so, you’ve got a baby side. We always have to help you look for things you’ve lost. Every night you ask me where your pajamas are. The same goes for the dog’s leash, your keys, your credit card, your briefcase and your luncheon vouchers. Your car is almost as precious as Leon’s, and at the time of writing I still haven’t driven it. Yet you’re not materialistic, but I know it’s because you like to take care of things.

You’re also often in your own bubble, so when you’re doing something and you’re concentrating, you’re not listening, and sometimes that can be annoying. Once we know, we just have to wait for you to finish doing your thing so we can have a normal conversation…

Your commitment to unlikely animal causes: building huts for hedgehogs, beehives and logs for lonely bees, bird boxes and so on.

Are there any “advantages” to living with a gifted person?

Definitely the practical side! You’re super resourceful, with plans A,B,C,D,E! In New Zealand, you fitted out the van, in your apartment, you built a closet when you’d never held a saw in your life before… There are never problems, only solutions.

You understand things up fast… Sometimes even too fast. Again, I think this is typical of zebras.

You’re a devoted person, we can count on you, me, your friends, your family… You’re there for the people you care about. You’re generous too, but you’re selective. You have to “earn” your trust. And your “big kid” side makes you a very endearing and sensitive person.

You’re ambitious and a go-getter, you’re always full of projects and desires, and that’s pretty cool becausewe never get bored and want to follow you.. And then, anything is possible…

Even if you don’t like being pushed around at first, you always take the time to think things over and consider a proposal. You’ll have to give yourself time to make the idea your own, but you’re still pretty keen on a lot of things.

Are there any “disadvantages” to living with a gifted person?

I think everyone has their little faults in everyday life, but the main thing is to enjoy living with them! And that’s what love is all about! As far as you’re concerned, once we get to know you, we’re rarely surprised by your reactions to this or that situation. I just know you’re going to take things to heart than I do.

The only small drawback I can say is that you’re going to be a demanding person in general. So demanding with otherstoo! And sometimes it’s true that it’s a bit annoying to see you getting on my nerves about something that doesn’t mean that much to me!

But once again, it’s all about getting to know yourself and the other person, so you can anticipate minor mood swings.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that you’re a zebra but I know you have trouble with crowds, people, the city! Too much noise, too much mixing… But we’re very similar in that respect, so it’s not a disadvantage for me.

Something that can be surprising is the need for rest and sleep! Here again, I don’t know if all gifted people are like you, but 10 hours a night minimum to recuperate… and an extra 2 hours during the day, that’s a lot!

3 tips for a good relationship with a gifted person

First and most important tip: COMMUNICATE & UNDERSTAND!

Like other zebras, you’re always asking yourself questions and analyzing everything.sometimes you go so far in your thing that we feel a bit overwhelmed. I often ask you what’s going on. How are you? What’s on your mind? I’m interested in you. When we don’t agree, I’ll try to understand your point of view so you don’t lose your temper. Generally speaking, we need to listen to you and let you express yourself.

Ask your “gifted person” how he or she sees things. You have to be interested in who you are, in your “uniqueness” and NEVER REJECT YOU. I know that if I were in denial, if I didn’t accept your atypical zebra side, you’d have trouble feeling legitimate in our relationship.

Second tip: AUTONOMY

Letting a high-potential person have his or her independence while being very present.

That’s a bit of a problem when you’re a couple! I know that sometimes you need space, to be alone, and at the same time you need me to reassure you, to be there for you, to support you in your ideas, your projects, your choices…

Because you care about me, my opinion is super important to you, and I know you’d be disappointed if I didn’t get involved in your life… I see it especially with the blog

It’s that child-in-an-adult-body thing again! You’re super independent, you know how to do lots of things, but you need reassurance (you do!).

Third tip: PATIENCE and TOLERANCE

It’s true that I have a lot of patience and I think you know that! I very rarely get angry, so I’m not going to put up too much of a fight because I know it has to come from you! Well, sometimes I have to hustle you for a few things

Patience goes hand in hand with tolerance, in the sense that I know and accept that you don’t think like me, that you wouldn’t act like me in a given situation.

You’re going to have 36,000 ideas and projects all at once… all of which I know and, above all, tolerate because that’s just you.

What’s really nice is to see that on some points we agree 100% with each other, and on others not so much. We complement each other really well on a daily basis.

And, I think the key to making it work between a zebra and a non-zebra is to let the other do what he likes and give him the space to do it. We share a lot of time together and a lot of our passions. We love sports, travelling, going out and making friends, but sometimes it’s good for us to get away from it all!

Being a happy couple with a gifted person

Definitely and happily! Once we’ve figured you out, you’re not “that weird” anymore
In fact, it’s all good!

Love makes you love anyone!

To remember

To find the perfect balance as a couple with a gifted person:
– communicate
– give him his space
– ask him regularly how he feels
– be a good listener
– take a step back
– assert your desires and needs when necessary
– be patient
– try to empathize to understand what he’s feeling
– share things together
– take an interest in his daily life
– enjoy life together

Would you like to testify and help the readers of Suivez le Zèbre? Tell us your story on the blog:

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS ‘ testimonial book, part of which is included in this article. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Impostor’s syndrome
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity
• Our book Suivez le Zèbre
• Zebra and love relationships
• Gifted and happily married to a non-gifted person?
• Do gifted people attract each other?
• Atypikoo, the first dating app for gifted and atypicals profiles
• Characteristics of High Potential

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L’article Testimony: living as a couple with a gifted person est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.