Article updated on May 5, 2025

My path to the WAIS IV test and recognition of High Potential

How I discovered I was Gifted (2017) and then, a few years later, ADHD (2023). This is often one of the first questions I’m asked when I talk about neurodiversity.

So here’s my story. Not the story of an enlightened discovery, but the story of a path of construction, between ease, discrepancies, questioning, therapy, doubts… and finally relief. Because that’s what discovering your neuro-atypia is all about: a path towards your identity.

When I was little, I didn’t really know if I was different. By adolescence, you’re trying to be, so the question never arose. But I’ve always had this feeling of being different, which became even more pronounced as I entered the adult world.

A gap I noticed in high school and during my post-graduate studies

It was especially during my graduate studies that I felt at odds. It was hard for me to see myself in the future. Whether I was doing an internship or a sandwich course, the professional world seemed absurd. The others were making it. I couldn’t. I felt misunderstood, unstable and exhausted.

I didn’t understand and people didn’t understand me. It was a real dialogue of the deaf!

Looking back, I realize that some years were sweeter than others… but at the time, I didn’t make the connection between what I was experiencing and what I was feeling.

A pattern that repeats itself: personal and professional instability

I always found interesting jobs easily… but never for very long.
Every year, I changed: team, company, project. And in my personal life, it was the same: short, intense relationships, then nothing. The bond broke. Either because thepeople who managed me didn’t get on at all, or because I quickly got bored and needed a change. It was exhausting. On the personal side, it was a bit the same: I was quickly overwhelmed and the temptation to run away was always there.

I know now that I should have perceived here the disorders associated with ADHD… When you don’t know what it is, it’s hard to identify! But deep down, I knew there was an explanation….

The quest for answers… and the waltz of diagnoses

I tried several therapies to try and understand. It took me a while to find the first answers. About ten years, after all! All the shrinks said more or less the same thing:

“You’re normal (implied, no mental health issues), maybe a little extralucid, impulsive but resilient and integrated enough for therapists…”

But deep down, it didn’t suit me. So I immersed myself in a lot of reading: psychology, personal development, personality disorders… This was between 2005 and 2015. At the time, Gifted and NDD (neurodevelopmental disorders) weren’t well known, so I even considered borderline disorder.

But the psychiatrist quickly referred me to a psychologist specializing in cognitive science. With her, I was able to move forward and take a step forward in discovering my identity. She saw my potential. Not “gifts”, not “talents”, just… potentials. And above all, the critical situations created by ADHD at the time: my mental agitation, my need for constant stimulation, my decision-making in “everything, right away” mode, but also my phases of sudden exhaustion.

The discovery of giftedness

Cognitive-behavioural therapy helped me to better manage my ADHD-related disorders. After a year’s work, I began to talk about High Potential and was referred to a specialist psychologist to take the WAIS IV, Weshcler’s scale for detecting High Potential in adults.

I waited three months for this test.

Passing the WAIS IV

The test takes place in three stages:

1. An initial 1-hour interview
2. WAIS IV test (approx. 2h to 2h30)
3. A feedback meeting

It’s intense, sometimes confusing. But if you’re comfortable with the therapist, it goes well.

How much does it cost? Around €300, depending on the region. See the list of specialized shrinks by region here

The first appointment lasts an hour, and is used to take an anamnesis. It enables the psychologist toassess your background and the way you function. In my case, ADHD-related disorders were glossed over because I was compensating a lot. And at the time, neuropsychologists had no training in comprehensive cognitive assessment. Today, there would certainly be little doubt about my dual Gifted and ADHD profile…

WAIS test: good conditions are essential

The psychologist is there to support you throughout the test. And it’s important to feel confident, in a reassuring environment. Why? Because it allows you to stay focused, without letting yourself be overwhelmed by stress or parasitic thoughts such as: “Does he think I’m bad? Am I answering correctly?”

During the test, it’s sometimes possible to find out whether your answers are right or wrong. Personally, I needed this live feedback, so that I could see where I stood: was I completely off the mark, or was I doing okay? But then again, everyone’s different. Some people prefer not to know at all, to stay focused.

Why I took the test

I needed a “yes” or a “no”. Not a label, but a marker.
Am I Gifted? Or just confused, maladjusted, “crazy”?

Some people don’t need to take the test. And that’s just fine!
But I needed it. To understand. To put in a word. To free myself.

The only person who knows what to do or not to do is you! Never let anyone choose for you, and above all never let anyone judge your choices or judge you for your choices.

Some people need clear validation. This was my case.
I had to know. I couldn’t go on with this nagging doubt:
“Is that it, or am I just completely off my rocker, unstable, maladjusted… crazy?”

And then there are others for whom it’s not necessary.
They know who they are, and that’s enough for them. They don’t need a test or an extra box to tick to feel legitimate. And frankly, so much the better!

It’s really up to each individual. There’s no right or wrong way to do it.

But if you want to earn the famous Gifted / Surdoué “badge” – because yes, we love labels in France – then you need to take a test with a certified psychologist.

It seems to me that Mensa also offers an assessment, but I suggest you find out more directly.
And a little clarification: in schools, classes for high-potential children often give priority to those who have already been detected via an official test.

My advice if you’re hesitating to take the WAIS

If you’ve been sensing this discrepancy for a long time…
If you’ve always operated “differently”…
If you’re trying to understand your own operating mode…

So maybe WAIS is a step to consider.

But whatever you decide:
You’re legitimate.
Your feelings count.
And you don’t need a number to be valuable.

What about ADD/ADHD?

After I was diagnosed as Gifted, part of my story became clear. In fact, I created Suivez le Zèbre around this time. In 2017, Gifted had become a bit of a catch-all box! So my ADD/ADHD personality traits were grafted onto the WAIS results. And I found myself without a solution for managing the fluctuations in my mood.

Some Gifted profiles show highly heterogeneous results on the WAIS, with high performance on some subtests and greater difficulty on others.
This type of profile can mask another associated disorder, such as ADHD, which is known as a differential diagnosis.

In my case, it was after a burn-out in 2023 that the subject came up again. I had already been identified as Gifted for several years, but certain things remained unclear: procrastination above all! Then increasingly frequent forgetfulness and increased mental agitation, a freewheeling brain with less patience and therefore more impulsivity…

As cobblers often wear the worst shoes, I was well aware of the characteristics of ADHD, and I quickly made the connection. I underwent another neuropsychological assessment, and was then officially diagnosed with ADHD by a specialist psychiatrist. For a long time, Gifted allowed me to compensate. But the day a grain of sand got in the way – in this case, a burn-out – my brain was no longer able to mask the dysfunctions linked to ADHD.

If your WAIS test seems incoherent, or if you still feel profoundly out of step despite Gifted detection, a complementary assessment can really make a difference.
In particular around ADHD or other neurodevelopmental disorders (NDD) often still unrecognized in adulthood, all the more so when you’re a woman.

Have confidence in yourself

The WAIS test can be a step, a revelation, a trigger… but it ‘s not an end in itself. In my case, it was a step that enabled me to discover my ADHD.

So pass it on if you feel the need. But above all, be confident in yourself, with or without a number, with or without a label.

Your value is not just a score. The WAIS only measures part of who you are – within a standardized, often fixed framework. And the norm isn’t an absolute truth, it’s just an average. What really counts is what you do with your uniqueness.

Because that’s what neurodiversity is all about:
Learning to live together, each with his or her strengths, challenges and nuances.

As American diversity activist Verna Myers rightly puts it:

“Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a choice.”

To find out more :

Discover my testimonial book on giftedness and the routines that helped me rebuild my life.

Mel POINAS

To go further, you can read

• Find a Gifted psychologist
• Personality test for atypical profiles
• Online IQ test, caution danger?
• 20 characteristics of Gifted profiles
• How to take the WAIS test

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L’article How I discovered I was Gifted… then ADHD est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Our advice

Do you recognize yourself in the characteristics of certain neurodiversity profiles and you think you might be neuroatypical? The team has developed various tests to help you get to know yourself better and, above all, to reassure you before seeking professional help.

Of course, an online test will never replace a practitioner. Think of it as a first step in identifying your neuroatypism.

In order to obtain your results and promote the work of our team, we ask you to contribute 1 euro (1 euro = 1 coffee for our tribe!).

If you like our work, feel free to buy us a whole packet of coffees

Discover our different online tests without registration

The results are automatically displayed on a new page after payment. You just have to wait a few seconds.

We don’t save your tests. There are no registrations or cookies on Suivez le Zèbre /RGPD Friendly). You can take a screenshot to remember.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

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Important

Please note that Suivez le Zèbre does not use cookies, and we do not record results, since our tests do not require registration!
Once you’ve made your contribution to the team via our banking partner Stripe, wait until your results page is displayed, because after that, they can no longer be retrieved.

Our advice

Put the results into perspective: the real WAIS test lasts two hours. We offer these tests to give you an idea of how you’re functioning, but they are in no way certifying.

The reliability of our tests is relative, so if you want to go further, don’t hesitate to contact a specialized practitioner such as a neuropsychologist, a psychologist for giftedness or hypersensitivity, your GP, or a psychiatrist for autism.

Thank you for your confidence
Enjoy your test with Suivez le Zèbre!

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book based on her experience. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Learning Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

La boutique du Zèbre

Des livres, des goodies, des accessoires pour se sentir bien au quotidien et (se) faire plaisir !

Je me fais plaisir

MENSA France tests

Mensa offers tests all over France, once or several times a year depending on the town.
The cost of the Test is 50 euros (25 euros for students and the unemployed).

L’article Our no-registration online personality tests est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

My gifted career path has taken me from digital marketing and organizational strategy to HR marketing and recruitment issues.

Passionate about human beings and psychology, I quickly realized that very few managers, executives and company directors are familiar with the zebra profile.

Who is the zebra, the gifted, the high-potential employee?

What’s certain is that the gifted employee is clearly an atypical profile in the company!

Strong professional expectations and easily identifiable characteristics.

It is an employee who has a very demanding nature with others, whether with colleagues, direct managers, teams or hierarchies. If gifted people are so demanding of others, it’s first and foremost because they’re so demanding of themselves, and hate failure. One of his biggest fears is that he won’t be able to carry out the mission for which he was hired.

Gifted people have impostor syndrome, always thinking that they owe their successes to chance… or that they don’t deserve the trust they’ve been given because they haven’t done anything exceptional to deserve it? Either he doesn’t think he’s up to the task: fear of failure and, above all, an inability to put failure into perspective…

This self-imposed pressure means that he has very high expectations of the company he works for.

A zebra is willing to work for a company, but only if it deserves it! This mode of operation, very perfectionist, also very dichotomous – it’s a hit or miss – can make him come across as rigid or haughty. Quite simply because the way in which it raises an issue will, for the most part, be clumsy.

A high-potential person has a very strong emotional sensitivity. in a quest for ideal, perfect work,

L’article How do you manage a high learning potential, gifted or zebra profile? est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Do you think you or someone you know might be autistic?

Important

Since 2013, healthcare professionals no longer use the term Asperger syndrome. All people with autistic features are grouped together under the term AUTIST.

If you want to be sure before making a diagnosis, the Suivez le Zèbre team has created a test to find out if you have an Asperger’s profile.

Asperger’s, a neurodevelopmental disorder

The Asperger’s syndromeis a neurodevelopmental disorder , not a psychiatric illness. The aim of diagnosis is to find a balance in one’s life, so that autism is not seen as a handicap in everyday life. The diagnosis will enable the neuroatypical to better understand their behaviors and receive support to live more serenely.

Asperger’s syndrome is still little-known, and the general public still harbors many clichés, whether through TV series or Elon Munsk. Unfortunately, many healthcare professionals still regard Asperger’s syndrome as a treatable or even curable condition. In fact, we can work on brain function and re-educate certain functions, but we can’t control everything.

On the other hand, by working on the environment and promoting inclusion, autism can become a real strength, because it is an integral part of the person’s identity.

Our advice

Check with the various health experts to make sure they know all there is to know about autism. There are procedures validated by the French National Authority for Health. Trusting your healthcare professional is essential if you are to understand how he or she works, and feel supported beyond the stereotypes of autism.

Is autism a disability?

It’s not the autism itself that’s a handicap, but the behaviors or functions it can generate. In fact, there are as many forms of autism as there are people with autism,

A form of autism for every autistic person

Each autistic person will express him/herself in an individual way, despite common characteristics. However, in France, autism is recognized as a disability, including Asperger ‘s syndrome, which is no longer recognized by the French National Authority for Health.

Why be diagnosed with Asperger’s?

For a start, because getting to know yourself better is a chance to move forward and find the place that suits you best.

On the administrative side, a diagnosis of Asperger’s autism can be used to contact the MDPH (Departmental House for the Disabled) to obtain various certifications and allowances depending on the age and activity of the person recognized as having Asperger’s ASD. Being recognized as disabled means greater inclusion in the workplace. An autistic person with a recognized disability will have a better chance of finding a company.

Important

Asperger’s diagnosis can take a long time. If you have any doubts, talk to your doctor first. If he’s not well trained in the subject, you can turn to an association to help you find the right health professionals. This recommendation will give the organization you contact more details, and your application will be taken more seriously.

Diagnosis of Asperger’s autism, who to consult?

Association of Autism Resource Centres (ANCRA)

The ANCRAs are regional public centers providing assistance to people with ASD and training in the care of people with autism, including Asperger’s. These centers bring together a range of health specialists who can carry out diagnostic tests.

To contact them, just send an e-mail or make a phone call to your local ANCRA. If it offers diagnoses, you can fill out an information file. In fact, they often ask for a doctor’s referral.
If your application is accepted, you will then receive an initial appointment with a psychiatrist, followed by appointments with various experts to establish the diagnosis.

ANCRAs are very comprehensive and therefore their diagnosis is both reliable and better able to detect complex cases such as Asperger syndrome. The test is also covered by the ‘Caisse primaire d’assurance maladie’ (local sickness insurance fund)
On the other hand, the ANCRAs are often overwhelmed, and it can easily take 1 to 3 years to reach a diagnosis.

It’s a secure solution, but one that will require a great deal of patience.

Psychiatric centers

The medical and psychological consultation centres are public medical centers covering a wide range of medical activities. Many of them can diagnose Asperger’s and ASD in general. As we do not specialize in Asperger profiles, these centers can above all provide diagnoses for less complexcases whose behaviors stand out a great deal.

To remember

If you’re the parent of a child you suspect of having Asperger’s syndrome, there are also specific establishments for children: Medico-psycho-pedagogical Centre (CMPP) and centres for early medicosocial action, medicopsychological centres (MPCs).

The advantage of these CMPPs is that they are quick to diagnose and are covered by social security. It’s also possible to keep in touch with the various professionals involved to keep track of progress.

But the drawback is the reliability of the diagnosis. It is in these centers in particular that we are likely to come across professionals who can give outdated conclusions using methods that are not approved by the highest health authorities.

Private practitioners

A number of psychiatrists, neurologists and neuropsychologists can diagnose autism, and some even specialize specifically in detectingAsperger’s syndrome.
To do this, you need to get in touch with a professional who, after discussions and appointments, may decide to start a diagnosis by running a series of tests with a team of professionals he or she has brought together to produce an assessment.

Much faster than other methods, and with the added advantage of guaranteed support and follow-up.

You can contact your local Asperger’s association to find out about qualified professionals in your area.

Finally

Getting a diagnosis autistic disorderis not only a practical tool for obtaining help and advice, it’s also a great way to reassure yourself and develop personally. By putting words to your behaviors, it becomes easier to recognize which problems stem from your Asperger’s syndrome, and finding solutions becomes simpler.

To find out how your diagnosis will work, we’ve also prepared an article on the subject:

Need some reassurance? Suivez le Zèbre has created a test to find out if you have an Asperger’s profile. In exchange for a free coffee for our team (equivalent to 1 euro), we’ll guide you along the path to diagnosis.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Gifted in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To find out more about this topic, read also :

• 10 Clichés about Asperger’s syndrome
• 20 signs and characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome
• What is an atypical profile?
• What is neurodiversity?
• WAIS-IV test how does it work?
• Zebra or hypersensitive, High Emotional Potential, Asperger’s, Bipolar, Borderline?
• Is my child precocious?

Did you like the article? Don’t hesitate to share it

L’article How to get diagnosed with Autism (formerly Asperger’s) est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Welcome to Suivez le Zèbre, the first blog dedicated to neurodiversityin France. Here you will find information about Giftedness (High Learning Potential), hypersensitivity, autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger’s syndrome), DYS disorders and ADHD.

It’s not always easy being the partner of a gifted person! Relationships are complicated enough. As soon as you start moving in together, living with a zebra (synonymous with gifted) can be confusing!

Living with a zebra man or woman!

May the force be with you!

Love for zebras is one of the most intense feelings in the world, in the galaxy, in the universe!

How do you deal with this when you yourself are not gifted, but rather have your feet firmly planted on the ground?

Living with a gifted person: a daily headache?

Sometimes, our partner may even wonder if it’s really the same person he’s dealing with! Is there not a little schizophrenia or bipolarity in all this??? No, no, no!

People with high potential have an atypical way of functioning, which can cause them to switch from one mood to another quite quickly… I think it has to do with hypersensitivity and emotionality, which we sometimes find hard to manage…

I’m Mel Poinas, founder of Suivez le Zèbre. I was identified gifted at the age of 30 after taking the WAIS 4 test with a neuropsychologist.

it’s hard for me to tell you what it’s like to live with a gifted person in all objectivity… Which would make me ask myself even more questions when I’m already asking myself enough.

I took the easy way out and asked Julia, my wife of several years, to testify. I hope our testimony will speak for itself and help many gifted / non-gifted and even gifted / gifted couples!

Everyday life as a couple with a gifted person

For the first time on Suivez le Zèbrewe’re going to write a 4-handed article!
And personally, I was really looking forward to it! I’ve been bugging her for weeks about writing this article because I also really wanted to get her take on our relationship.

For those new to the concept of zebra, gifted or high potential, you can find out more about zebra characteristics here >> Gifted characteristics from an adult zebra!

Otherwise, for a more traditional definition in the rules of the art, go to >> Characteristics of gifted people, high potentials, zebras…

Let’s go for a sort of me-to-her interview! For once you won’t get my point of view, but the insight of someone who is not gifted and who didn’t know about giftedness until she met me.

For you, what is a gifted person, a zebra, a high potential?

I didn’t really know anything about giftedness until I met you. On a daily basis, it’s so much a part of you that I can’t separate it from your qualities and faults.

Today, when I think about it, for me, being gifted means having potential in one or more particular areas, a more developed aptitude for certain things.

There’s the analytical side too, I can see it, you’re always thinking, asking yourself lots of questions, about everything and anything.

It’s kind of weird because you’re a very subtle person and clever, but when it comes to huge things, you’ll take everything at face value! You’ve got a good sense of humor but no second degree, and you take things to heart very quickly.In fact, you’re sensitive!

I’d say that living with a gifted person is like living alternately with a child trapped in an adult body or an old man trapped in an adult body (laughs).

How does this translate into our daily lives?

Well you can be stubborn, when you want to do something one way, it’s going to be hard to get you to do it any other way! Plus, you’re an ultra-perfectionist, you like things to be done well, or at least your way (having said that, that’s very cool, I’m excluding the fact that you’re messy). Laughter, mood swings, lots of projects.

In the kitchen, you like to organize knives, dishes, groceries and the fridge in your own way. And I have no choice but to adapt to you.

You’re a bon vivant who loves life and tries to take things as easy as possible to avoid setting on your little bike.

You don’t like things being moved because you don’t like having to look for them when you need them. The “everything in its place” and the “it makes more sense to do it this way“…

Even so, you’ve got a baby side. We always have to help you look for things you’ve lost. Every night you ask me where your pajamas are. The same goes for the dog’s leash, your keys, your credit card, your briefcase and your luncheon vouchers. Your car is almost as precious as Leon’s, and at the time of writing I still haven’t driven it. Yet you’re not materialistic, but I know it’s because you like to take care of things.

You’re also often in your own bubble, so when you’re doing something and you’re concentrating, you’re not listening, and sometimes that can be annoying. Once we know, we just have to wait for you to finish doing your thing so we can have a normal conversation…

Your commitment to unlikely animal causes: building huts for hedgehogs, beehives and logs for lonely bees, bird boxes and so on.

Are there any “advantages” to living with a gifted person?

Definitely the practical side! You’re super resourceful, with plans A,B,C,D,E! In New Zealand, you fitted out the van, in your apartment, you built a closet when you’d never held a saw in your life before… There are never problems, only solutions.

You understand things up fast… Sometimes even too fast. Again, I think this is typical of zebras.

You’re a devoted person, we can count on you, me, your friends, your family… You’re there for the people you care about. You’re generous too, but you’re selective. You have to “earn” your trust. And your “big kid” side makes you a very endearing and sensitive person.

You’re ambitious and a go-getter, you’re always full of projects and desires, and that’s pretty cool becausewe never get bored and want to follow you.. And then, anything is possible…

Even if you don’t like being pushed around at first, you always take the time to think things over and consider a proposal. You’ll have to give yourself time to make the idea your own, but you’re still pretty keen on a lot of things.

Are there any “disadvantages” to living with a gifted person?

I think everyone has their little faults in everyday life, but the main thing is to enjoy living with them! And that’s what love is all about! As far as you’re concerned, once we get to know you, we’re rarely surprised by your reactions to this or that situation. I just know you’re going to take things to heart than I do.

The only small drawback I can say is that you’re going to be a demanding person in general. So demanding with otherstoo! And sometimes it’s true that it’s a bit annoying to see you getting on my nerves about something that doesn’t mean that much to me!

But once again, it’s all about getting to know yourself and the other person, so you can anticipate minor mood swings.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that you’re a zebra but I know you have trouble with crowds, people, the city! Too much noise, too much mixing… But we’re very similar in that respect, so it’s not a disadvantage for me.

Something that can be surprising is the need for rest and sleep! Here again, I don’t know if all gifted people are like you, but 10 hours a night minimum to recuperate… and an extra 2 hours during the day, that’s a lot!

3 tips for a good relationship with a gifted person

First and most important tip: COMMUNICATE & UNDERSTAND!

Like other zebras, you’re always asking yourself questions and analyzing everything.sometimes you go so far in your thing that we feel a bit overwhelmed. I often ask you what’s going on. How are you? What’s on your mind? I’m interested in you. When we don’t agree, I’ll try to understand your point of view so you don’t lose your temper. Generally speaking, we need to listen to you and let you express yourself.

Ask your “gifted person” how he or she sees things. You have to be interested in who you are, in your “uniqueness” and NEVER REJECT YOU. I know that if I were in denial, if I didn’t accept your atypical zebra side, you’d have trouble feeling legitimate in our relationship.

Second tip: AUTONOMY

Letting a high-potential person have his or her independence while being very present.

That’s a bit of a problem when you’re a couple! I know that sometimes you need space, to be alone, and at the same time you need me to reassure you, to be there for you, to support you in your ideas, your projects, your choices…

Because you care about me, my opinion is super important to you, and I know you’d be disappointed if I didn’t get involved in your life… I see it especially with the blog

It’s that child-in-an-adult-body thing again! You’re super independent, you know how to do lots of things, but you need reassurance (you do!).

Third tip: PATIENCE and TOLERANCE

It’s true that I have a lot of patience and I think you know that! I very rarely get angry, so I’m not going to put up too much of a fight because I know it has to come from you! Well, sometimes I have to hustle you for a few things

Patience goes hand in hand with tolerance, in the sense that I know and accept that you don’t think like me, that you wouldn’t act like me in a given situation.

You’re going to have 36,000 ideas and projects all at once… all of which I know and, above all, tolerate because that’s just you.

What’s really nice is to see that on some points we agree 100% with each other, and on others not so much. We complement each other really well on a daily basis.

And, I think the key to making it work between a zebra and a non-zebra is to let the other do what he likes and give him the space to do it. We share a lot of time together and a lot of our passions. We love sports, travelling, going out and making friends, but sometimes it’s good for us to get away from it all!

Being a happy couple with a gifted person

Definitely and happily! Once we’ve figured you out, you’re not “that weird” anymore
In fact, it’s all good!

Love makes you love anyone!

To remember

To find the perfect balance as a couple with a gifted person:
– communicate
– give him his space
– ask him regularly how he feels
– be a good listener
– take a step back
– assert your desires and needs when necessary
– be patient
– try to empathize to understand what he’s feeling
– share things together
– take an interest in his daily life
– enjoy life together

Would you like to testify and help the readers of Suivez le Zèbre? Tell us your story on the blog:

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS ‘ testimonial book, part of which is included in this article. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Impostor’s syndrome
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity
• Our book Suivez le Zèbre
• Zebra and love relationships
• Gifted and happily married to a non-gifted person?
• Do gifted people attract each other?
• Atypikoo, the first dating app for gifted and atypicals profiles
• Characteristics of High Potential

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L’article Testimony: living as a couple with a gifted person est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

When you’re an gifted parent of precocious children, it can seem difficult, even insurmountable. Gifted children experience everything very intensely. They capture everything about the other person: their joy, their anger, their sadness. But it can also be a lot of fun in everyday life. Despite everything, this unique way of functioning is a real asset, and your relationship with your child can become exceptional.

My child is gifted. What should I do?

Sandrine learned about her children’s High Potential from the speech therapist. For her, it’s important to remember that “the information is there. What do we do with it now? What’s the best thing about it?“These many capabilities also bring very beautiful things, we must see the positive in this news.

On the psychologist‘s advice, she decided to take the test too. “When I got the result, it was as if an anvil had fallen on my head. I had my doubts and started researching, reading everything I could get my hands on..” After all her research, Sandrine decided to produce an illustrated summary to explain High Potential to her children.

Marion, from Les dessins de Marion, thinks it’s not necessarily vital to know officially whether a child is gifted. For her “The most important thing is to know the subject and be able to identify certain things, which can really help if you have any doubts. Don’t rush into things.”

Every parent has his or her own reaction to the news that their child is gifted. The important thing is to not panic. You shouldn’t tell yourself that your child is different and will necessarily be unhappy; that’s not true! Detecting giftedness early on can be an advantage, as the child will learn to build on all this and develop correctly with his or her skills.

Our advice

If you learn that your child is gifted, don’t panic! Everything will go smoothly, and your child will be able to learn to build himself properly and develop his skills to the full.

Parents of gifted children and society

Society’s gaze weighs heavily on all parents, no matter who they are. So sometimes, being a parent of an precocious child can seem difficult when you don’t have a solution. Indeed,“when society tells us you’re the one with the problem (mom or dad), it makes us feel guilty because our children aren’t perfect.” But on the other hand, what is perfection? For the well-being of both parents and children, we need to get rid of the social pressure to be a good mother or not.

This is one of the reasons why Catherine decided to open her school, to be able to offer solutions to parents who can sometimes feel helpless. “I’m doing this to show that there’s no problem and that there are solutions available to parents.‘

Our tips ro take care of your little gifted children

It may seem difficult to give our precocious children what they need. But here’s a list of tips you can apply at home and maybe see a difference. Gifted children have a real need for meaning in everything they do.

At home :

• Pay attention to the status given to precocious children. Don’t label them (genius…)
• Giving meaning to what they do, and adding depth.
• Don’t see Giftedness as a problem.
• Value the fact that he’s gifted, his brain works very well and that’s a blessing.
• Stimulate gifted children through games, exercises and even stories.
• Support him emotionally.
• Learn more about the subject(books, videos, podcasts, blogs…) to understand what High Potential is and be able to talk about it with them.
• Respect their privacy, and their desire to say or not to say.
• Leave them their autonomy.
• Learn to celebrate small successes!

Indeed, Catherine thinks “that they shouldn’t be given the status “my child is gifted“, I find that very dangerous. This means that I have rights that are different from others, and it also means that I’m different from others.“It doesn’t allow the child to build and develop properly. These zebra children need to be made to understand that they function differently from the majority of children, but that this does not mean they are superior or inferior to others.

It’s essential to avoid categorizing these precocious children, to talk to them and explain to them that their brains work differently from others. At Suivez le Zèbre, we think it’s best not to talk to them about intelligence, to prevent them from thinking they’re better than other children.

On the contrary, it’s a blessing in disguise, because today we know how High Potentials function, we know that the brain works very, very well, it’s difficult to grasp, but everything’s going to be fine. You have to make him understand that he’s part of a group, that he’s not excluded and that he’ll manage to adapt. But above all, to explain to him that he is neither superior, nor inferior, nor different.“We mustn’t forget that he is and remains a child.

We need to encourage their curiosity and give them opportunities to explore new and stimulating experiences, in order to enhance their creativity.

At school :

• Forget the cliché “my gifted child needs to work harder”.
• Precocious children often need to work differently and in depth.
• Discuss the child’s needs with teachers.
• Deepen the knowledge.
• Give meaning to learning.
• Help them take a step back from things.

Catherine, director of the Arborescence 31 a specialized school for over 7 years, believes that “at school level, gifted children don’t need to work harder, they need to work differently and in depth. You have to give them something meaningful to do, so that they understand why they’re working and then follow through with the project and the support. If, for example, they have a fixation with planets, you don’t just give them the name of each one, but explain to them why they’re called that, what’s going on with the sun, what there is in the universe etc… You have to go far, very far. Notions must be really deep and meaningful.” We really need to work on these points to meet their needs and their thirst for knowledge.

In conclusion

It’s up to you, as a parent, to decide whether it’s really necessary to have your child tested. Does thispotential giftedness need to be detected? It’s up to you to put your child and his or her needs at the center, even if it means asking for help if you discover additional pathologies such as anxiety disorders or oppositional defiant disorder.

Some gifted children are just as annoying that they are terribly endearing, a duality not uncommon in these singular profiles: emotion thin-skinned and a gymnastic mind that never takes a day off! In any case, if there is any doubt, the best way to be sure is to be accompanied by a specialized psychologist in order to carry out an assessment.

Thanks for reading, Mel

Do you find yourself in the characteristics of gifted adults? Why not try a first approach together?

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS‘ book . With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• The best books about High Learning Potential
• 18 signs and characteristics of Giftedness
• Impostor’s syndrome
• The story of Mel, identified gifted at the age of 30
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity
• Our book Suivez le Zèbre

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L’article Our advice for accompanying an gifted child est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Within the “big family” of gifted profiles, doctors and neuropsychologists Fanny Nusbaum, Olivier Revol and Dominic Sappey-Marinier in their book (hyper interesting) les philo-cognitifs have identified two types of profile: laminar and complex!

This discovery has not been validated by the neuroscientific community, and is not widely accepted.

At Suivez le zèbre, we find the project really interesting, because today there’s a void on the intrinsic characteristics of gifted people.

Neuroscientists blame Fanny Nusbaum, Olivier Revol and Dominic Sappey-Marinier, all neuropsychologists, for the panel and context in which the MRI study was carried out.

We hope that Fanny Nusbaum and Olivier Revol will go further in their study of the characteristics of philo-cognitives, as they call the gifted.

Here is a summary of the two profiles mentioned by the three professionals in their book: philo-cognitive

Philo-cognitive(gifted): complex profile

The Philo-cognitive complex, as the name suggests, is a more complex profile!

Its characteristics are more creative and intuitive. . These individuals have more difficulty controlling themselves and managing their emotions, sensitivity, and brain in fact! Morgane (played by the masterful Audrey Fleurot) in the TF1 series HPI is clearly verging on the complex profile.

• They have (very) divergent thinking
• They are intuitive and creative
• They live by their feelings and trusts their instincts
• There is a gap between their great analytical skills and the management of their emotions
• They see the world through their own lens
• They have their own reality
• Learning is guided by the people who inspire them and not by the subject matter (e.g, the teacher and not the subject)
• They are more emotionally dependent
• They have a heterogeneous Intelligence Quotient
• They do not tolerate illegitimate authority and find it difficult to adapt in conflict situations.
• They do not know how to deal with conflict
• They like changes and challenges
• They need calm to recharge their batteries and calm their brain that never stops thinking
• The physical reaction to their hypersensitivity is immediate and visible (crying, anger, racing heart)
• They will be more out of touch and will not be able to hide their difference, their atypicality
• They are never unanimous; they annoy as much as they are adored
• They are less attached to the rules
• They are extroverted

Generally speaking, the laminar Philo-cognitive is more stable than the complex profile.

They are more rational and precise in their analyses and their view of others, whereas the complex profile may be influenced by personal bias guided by intuition. It is a bit like the difference between a scientist and an artist.

Philo-cognitive(gifted): laminar profile

The laminar philo-cognitive, as the name also suggests, is a more “fluid” profile of giftedness.

Basically, the management of their giftedness seems less ‘problematic’ than the complex profile. Individuals with this profile have more analytical characteristics:

• They have linear and analytical reasoning
• They are good students who like to succeed; they have a stable school career if they find their balance
• They are more attached to the subjects than to the teacher
• They are demanding and consistent
• They have a rational analysis of situations
• They are organised
• They are objective and rely more on facts than intuition
• They are outwardly focused rather than inwardly focused
• They are able to adapt easily and have emotional, affective, and professional stability
• They lack a second degree and take things in stride
• They are hard workers who strive to achieve their goals
• Their Intelligence Quotient is homogeneous
• They are punctual
• They are introverted

WARNING: According to Fanny Nusbaum, you never have only the characteristics of the laminar profile or only the characteristics of the complex profile! They can be 50% one and 50% the other; 40% – 60% or 12%- 88% etc.

So much for the quick recap on these two philo-cognitive profiles!

A lot of people wrote to me after the HPI French series aired to tell me that they didn’t see themselves in Morgane’s character.

Perhaps Fanny Nusbaum, Olivier Revol and Dominic Sappey-Marinier can provide us with the beginnings of an answer with the identification of these two philo-cognitive profiles, which would be more laminar than complexand Morgane Alvaro more complex than laminar!

Find out more in the book : les philo-cognitifs, they only like to think and think differently…

I order it

Product sheet

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS‘ book . With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• What is being Gifted?
• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Impostor’s syndrome
• Giftedness : 20 characteristics of complex and laminar profiles
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity

Did you like the article? Don’t hesitate to share it

L’article Fanny Nusbaum: Philo-cognitives (gifted profiles) complex and laminar est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

Welcome to Suivez le Zèbre, the first blog dedicated to neurodiversityin France. Here you will find information about HLP (High Learning Potential), hypersensitivity, autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger’s syndrome), DYS disorders and ADHD.

With the release of the series HPI on TF1 a French TV channel, gifted profiles (high learning potential) are in the spotlight! And it’s a good thingbecause at Suivez le Zèbre, we’ve been trying to democratize HIGH POTENTIAL for almost 6 years now!

At Suivez le Zèbre, we think this is a very legitimate question!

Scientifically, what is being gifted

If we stick to the scientific consensus, to be gifted is: to have abilities clearly superior to the average of the population. Source: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel book, p37.

A person identified as gifted has an IQ above 130 on the WAIS test (scale of 160). In France, this represents 2.3% of the population (1 person out of 44) that is more than 2 standard deviations above the national average located between 90 and 110 on the Gaussian curve.
The WAIS test is administered by a psychologist or neuropsychologist specialised in Giftedness.

Although IQ is the key factor in identifying HPI, theanamnesis (the history of the person) and discussions with the psychologist about cognitive abilities complete the detection.

As we use this single IQ metric through the WAIS in France, then the validation of a gifted person is based on this operational definition of High Potential.

Important

2.3% of the French population is above 2 standard deviations from the norm. 4.8% are above 125; that is to say 1 person out of 21, these thresholds are arbitrary, without biological or cerebral justification . (p40)

On the other hand, cognitive abilities are multiple. Very high scores in some areas (high potential area) may be enough to cause a feeling of deviation from the norm. Note that the presence of discrepancies between scores does not call into question the use of the overall raw IQ to identify the presence of high potential at the global level.

source : Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p44-46

Can we clearly attribute characteristics to people with intellectual disabilities?

If we consider the operational definition of High Potential, the signs and characteristics of the profiles simply correspond to having abilities that are clearly superior to the average of the population in different areas. Obviously, the definition is too vague, especially when addressing the general public and people who are questioning, doubting and looking for concrete answers!

How do you know if you have above-average abilities? How to take courage and dare to push the door of a psychologist without having a minimum of information or reassurance before?

With the help of the book: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel (the new giftedness bible), let’s see together what is validated by neuroscientists as being the cognitive abilities attributed to high potential profiles.

Giftedness: signs and cognitive characteristics

The WAIS test that identifies High Potential individuals is based on 4 major indices:

• The verbal comprehension index
• The perceptual reasoning index
• The working memory index
• The Processing Speed Index

Logically, gifted profiles have cognitive abilities that can be identified via these indices because it is these abilities that allow us to estimate and establish the famous IQ that is directly linked to intellectual efficiency:
–verbal comprehension, a good command of language, vocabulary and concepts
– memory (long term)
– processing speed
– strong problem solving skills
–divergent thinking: the ability to produce a large number of ideas from a single starting point
– There is an important metacognition: literally thinking the thought. Metacognition is related to learning ability as well as IQ.

Examples of divergent thinking:

• finding many words that begin with the same letter
• proposing several tracks to solve the same problem

source: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p161

To remember

Today, scientific studies have highlighted several cognitive correlates.

From a cognitive point of view, Giftednessis associated with many particularities due to the fact that intelligence in the most general sense intervenes in the whole cognitive sphere. In all cases, these are average differences in levels, not qualitative differences.

Gifted people have predispositions:
– in creativity
– to some humor tests
-some moral judgment tests
– in divergent thinking
– in critical thinking
– in resisting many (but not all) cognitive biases
– in metacognition
– in some forms of empathy (the most cognitive)
in intuitive intelligence (but not in intuitive cognitive style)

The scientific community agrees that gifted people have a high level of learning ability.

source : Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p154 and p163

As we have just seen, the correlation betweenHigh Learning Potentialand Intelligence is not in doubt. However, in France, we have a real problem with intelligence, which is rather ambivalent and surprising because it is in our country that there is the most research done by the general public on High Potential.

The craze for this subject goes far beyond the medical-professional sphere, as we saw with the success of the TF1 series HPI, 10 million views! The biggest success of the channel in the last 10 years.

Even more surprising is the assertion that the High Learning Potential is innate and that the IQ varies little (if at all) between birth and death of an individual (without illness or accident impacting IQ during life) goes against our social and societal model which advocates equal opportunity and nurtures a school system based on this same premise. Everyone is put on the same footing despite their different functions and different.

This is all the more sad when you consider that the neuroscientists emphasize the correlation between Giftedness and “school or academic performance when it is observed in several intellectual disciplines (mathematics, philosophy, languages, sciences, letters, etc.). The strong link between intelligence and academic success is indeed well established.”

source : Psychologie du Haut Potentiel p164

This observation explains three things: the limits of our French school system, the clichés about Giftedness and the jealousy towards people with high potential who are quickly categorized.

Problem: the majority of gifted people suffer from an imposter syndrome and do not identify themselves as intelligent people but rather see themselves as out of step!

Identify yourself as gifted when you don’t think you’re smart!

This is one of the many reasons I decided to create Suivez le Zèbre in 2017. When I heard about gifted people, I couldn’t identify with them because I didn’t think I was smart or in other words had superior cognitive abilities. On the contrary… I had a hard time finding my place and I always attributed my success to luck or I didn’t consider it as a success but as something normal.

Another point is that I have not always excelled in my studies, I have even repeated two years of school. Not because of difficulty, it’s true, but because of laziness. And finally, the essential reason why I wanted to democratize High Potential and make it accessible to as many people as possible: to reduce the time of awareness.

I found out I was gifted at age 30. Many would say it’s young, but I feel like I’ve wasted precious years and had a bit of a rough go of it before I was detected. So, if thanks to this blog, I can save many of you precious years, I will have succeeded in my mission!

The limit of the scientific literature on giftedness

This is the limitation of scientific books on Giftedness: they do not take into account the human dimension of the quest for identity of individuals affected by a neuroatypia such as HPI. Few people will admit to having above-average abilities, especially women who tend to have a greater impostor phenomenon.

For the past 6 years, on our blog, we have noticed that the profiles that are looking for answers about their identity and arrive on the High Potential track have common characteristics. We assume that people who come to our site are looking for answers. Perhaps the gifted people who don’t question themselves don’t have these characteristics at all! But our site is not for them.

In our experience, here are the signs or personality characteristics identified by Suivez le Zèbre in its gifted readers (since validated and detected by psychologists through a psychological assessment).

When you look closely, the majority of these characteristics are related to the cognitive abilities that were previously discussed in the book: Psychologie du Haut Potentiel.

Signs and characteristics of giftedness (which is our responsibility)

1- an IQ very close to (125) or higher than 130 (on the WAIS test)
2- the need to be stimulated
3- great sensitivity which can sometimes turn into emotionalism when there are difficulties in managing emotions
4- the exacerbated quest for meaning
5- a desire for absolute justice
6- a hyper awareness of its environment
7- fear of rejection
8- A tendency to over-adapt in order to please or to be accepted but which often leads in the long term to exhaustion or a depreciation of one’s image and thus to an identity crisis
8- fast and divergent thinking (tree thinking has never been scientifically proven). The ability to make connections is one of the strengths of high potential people
9- Resilience, a capacity to adapt very quickly
10- a hyper awareness of its environment and an increased resonance with others (humans, animals, nature)
11- intolerance to stupidity, disrespect, stupidity and mediocrity
12- a problem with authority (especially when it is considered illegitimate)
13- a vision of a world where all individuals and living things are interconnected
14- a great capacity to question, to doubt, to change point of view and to adapt
15- sometimes the ability to synesthetize (not the case for all gifted people)
16- for some, hyperesthesia
17- the tendency to procrastinate because we can feel overwhelmed by all these ideas or projects
18- generally speaking, a brain that works at full speed and rarely takes a vacation!

To avoid the barnum effect, you can ask yourself the following question: how intensely do I live and feel these characteristics?

Giftdeness: Intensity of Life!

Personally, I think it is this particular characteristic that will really define a gifted person: intensity!

In gifted people, we find this ability to make connections, to create projects, to want to move forward, to think, to exchange and it never stops!

We can also meet people with overflowing emotions! A bit like Morgane in the TF1 HPI series. Emotions seem almost uncontrollable as if it were impossible to contain themThey must be expressed at all costs. This characteristic would even be more common in people with ADD/ADHD. Attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity. Again, the link does not seem far-fetched when we know thatone out of threegifted people may also have ADD/ADHD.

Some gifted people are also annoying that terribly endearing, a duality that is quite common in these profiles: emotion on the skin and a gymnastic mind that never takes a break! In any case, if there is any doubt, the best way to be sure is to be accompanied by a specialized psychologist in order to carry out an assessment.

Thanks for reading, Mel

You find yourself in the characteristics of HPI, what if we tried a first approach together?

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS‘ book . With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To go further, you can read

• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Impostor’s syndrome
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?
• Giftedness and Hypersensitivity
• Our book Suivez le Zèbre

Did you like the article? Don’t hesitate to share it

L’article Giftedness: 18 signs and characteristics to understand, help and identify est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

The idea that people on the autism spectrum don’t want to have friends because they’re not sociable is a persistent cliché. Fortunately, we now know that this is a cliché, and we realize that Asperger’s people are just as keen to make friends and socialize in general as neurotypical people. As always, this idea stems from a misunderstanding of autistic behavior, confusing difficulties in socializing with a rejection of sociability.
The worry is that this cliché is also a self-fulfilling prophecy: it’s more difficult for Asperger’s people to make friends, so we think they don’t want friends, so they find themselves isolated, which can lead to a lack of interest in others.

So we need to break this loop, so that the world is more open and informed, so as not to leave people with Asperger’s on the sidelines.

And for people with Asperger’s autism who want to meet new people, you’ve got to keep going! There are lots of people who aren’t bothered by Asperger’s syndrome, who have the patience to learn or who are, quite simply, Asperger’s too.

To remember

It’s quite likely that, after a while, a disagreement will arise because your Asperger’s condition has not been taken into account. It’s an extremely frustrating situation, which can also happen with people who are very close to you, and can leave you feeling betrayed.

In this case, you’ll need the patience to explain the situation. It’s okay if it takes a while to get up the courage to talk about it, as long as the person you’re dealing with is willing to listen to you and prevent it from happening again, there’s no reason to hold a grudge for long.

Autistic Asperger’s: being yourself

It sounds cliché, but it’s a point that’s always worth making. When looking for friendships, it’s important to find people with whom you don ‘t need to hide your autism. Masking your neurodiversity is both burdensome and harmful in the long term, because Asperger syndrome is part of who you are. Camouflaging your ASD means, in the long run, living with the idea that you won’t be accepted if you don’t hide your atypical behavior.
It is therefore vital, as you make friends, to ensure that they accept the behaviours associated with Asperger’s and that their friends are not put off by the behaviours associated withAsperger’s autism.

Our advice

One difficulty that can arise as an Asperger’s is knowing how to view one’s relationships: is this person a buddy? an acquaintance ? a friend? more ???
A certain amount of discomfort can arise from treating acquaintances as friends, because we don’t know to what degree we should interact with them. So it’s not absurd to define your relationships in order to know what level of intimacy you can have with them.

For example:
– acquaintances: people you’ve met a few times, or regularly, but with whom you’ve never spoken much. Perhaps you should spend more time with them to find out if you enjoy their company.
– buddies: people with whom we’ve already shared moments and with whom it’s pleasant to spend time, they may be able to do us a favor, or we may be able to do them one.
– friends: people with whom you’ve already shared very personal problems, and to whom you can turn for many things.

Autistic Asperger’s: how to make friends

Associations for Asperger’s people not only provide guidance and assistance to Asperger’s sufferers, they also act as meeting places. This can take as many forms as there are associations, through organized meetings, with or without activities. It’s an opportunity to meet other Asperger’s sufferers in a setting designed to make you feel at ease and able to exchange ideas. It’s a good way to meet other autistic people with whom it’s obviously easier to acclimatize; there’s no need to make sure the person understands your condition, they share it too.

Associations can also help you find events organized especially for Asperger’s sufferers, such as special museum openings or dedicated cinema screenings. This is your chance to meet Asperger’s people with whom you share an interest, or with whom you can talk about the film you’ve all just seen.

Autistic Asperger’s: the game

Through events and associations, you can meet people with whom you directly share something, be it an interest, a condition or at least a common experience. However, these are community initiatives, and that’s what they’re there for, but we mustn’t condemn ourselves to using only dedicated structures to meet people.

As anAsperger’s, talking can be a real obstacle course. Indeed, knowing how to approach people isn’t necessarily easy, but on top of that they can be unexpressive, sarcastic or very tactile. The game is a great way to connect with anyone.
Whether around a card game, a board game, a video game or karaoke, setting up an environment with rules and a framework makes bonding much easier. It’s a great way to have a basic topic of discussion and make sure no one gets bored. Conversation topics can arise from game situations to find common ground, and if there are any remarks to be made they will not be made to the person but to the player.
Playing means both finding a conversation starter and a way to geta glimpse of the person without risking being indiscreet.

Our advice

For the 2 previous tips: using dedicated structures and playing games are 2 things that are perfectly possible to do online today.
The number of community chats, forums, groups or online games on any subject is incalculable, and the links made on the Internet have little to envy to real-life relationships. Internet friends are no less friends.

At the end of the day

Obviously, there’s no magic formula for making friends. We’re just trying to give you ideas on how to meet new people and tips on how to avoid silences.
In the end, it might be a good idea to point out that making friends is not a quest. Do what you love by being active, getting out and participating in community initiatives, and it’s with people who do the same that you’ll be able to forge links and even friendships.
And maybe in the end it’ll be just 1 or 2 people and that’ll be more than enough, because finding people with whom you can share everything is rare. We just hope our article helps you meet more people, and hopefully some friends in the making.

If you’re reading this article because you think you have a lot of Asperger’s behavior, you can take our test, which will put you on the right track. If your doubts are confirmed, don’t hesitate to make an appointment with a healthcare professional specializing in ASD.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS‘ book about her experience (who also has ADHD). With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

To find out more about this topic, read also :

• How to obtain an ASD diagnosis
• Stages of ASD diagnosis
• Living as a couple with an Asperger’s sufferer
• 10 Clichés about Asperger’s syndrome
• 20 signs and characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome
• Giftedness, testimonials and tips for making and keeping friends
• What is an atypical profile?
• What is neurodiversity?
• Zebra or hypersensitive, High Emotional Potential, Asperger’s, Bipolar, Borderline?

L’article Making friends with Asperger’s autism est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.

What is burn-out?

Burn-out is an increasingly common problem in the professional world. It is a state of physical and mental exhaustion that occurs when one is faced with high levels of stress and pressure at work. Burn-out can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender or type of work.

When you come from a neurodiversity background, the risk of burn-out is higher because you experience everything more intensely. We conducted a survey in March 2023 that shows that out of a sample of 750 neuroatypical people, 67.2% have already had one!

Why are neuro atypicals more susceptible to burn-out?

Traditional work environments are not fully adapted to the specific needs of people who are neuroatypical. Noisy and bright work spaces, information overload and repetitive tasks can cause distress in people in general but especially in neurodivergents leading to a strong sense of exhaustion.

Neurodivergent individuals may be more sensitive to negative emotions such as stress and anxiety, which can make them more vulnerable to burnout. For example, people with ADHD may have difficulty managing their attention and impulsivity, which can lead them to feel overwhelmed in chaotic or multi-tasking work environments. People with autism may be more sensitive to changes in their environment and may have difficulty processing the emotions of others, which can make it difficult for them to navigate socially demanding work environments.

Our advice to avoid burn-out

• Learn to manage your time

One of the main causes of burn-out is the stress linked to an excessive workload . To avoid this, it is important to plan your time effectively. Set priorities and work on the most important tasks first. Learn to delegate less important tasks and say no to excessive demands that are not essential to your work.

• Take regular breaks

It is important to take regular breaks throughout the day to recharge your mental and physical batteries. Take a few minutes to relax, meditate or go for a walk. Take longer breaks whenever you can, planning vacations or days off to rest.

• Take care of your physical health

Physical health is closely linked to mental health. Make sure you take care of your body by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep. Take the time to get a massage or try other relaxation methods to help you relax and reduce your stress level.

• Finds a balance between work and personal life

It is important to find a balance between your professional and personal life. Avoid working late at night or working on your days off. Take time to enjoy with your family and friends, do activities you love and relax.

• Find emotional support

Emotional support is important for maintaining good mental health. Talk to friends, colleagues or a mental health professional if you need support. Avoid working alone and find opportunities to connect with others.

These tips are a first step in helping you take care of your mental and physical health.

If you recognize yourself in the characteristics of burn-out, we advise you to turn to a professional who will be able to help you take a step back and heal or evaluate your level of burn-out via our test: Am I in burn-out?

You can also find more information, resources and tools on High Potential in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her High Potential and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

Le livre

Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.

Je le veux

Take care of yourself

To go further, you can read

• What is neurodiversity?
• Giftedness and work, gift or burden?
• How to recruit and manage gifted profiles
• Finding your place in the company when you are Gifted

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L’article How to avoid a burn-out? est apparu en premier sur Suivez le Zèbre.