Article updated on February 7, 2023
Welcome to Suivez le Zèbre, the first blog dedicated to neurodiversity and toxic relationships.
The Definition of a Narcissistic Pervert
Since the blog‘s creation, we’ve taken a keen interest in toxic relationships. Narcissistic pervert, narcissistic personality disorder and sociopath are all terms that have been overused in recent years. It’s very important to us at Suivez le Zèbre to make you aware of this toxic personality.
The term “narcissistic pervert” is very recent, as is the identification of this mental illness: 1986, by Paul Claude Racamier.
The Narcissistic Pervert is a destructive personality.
According to the specialist Paul-Claude Racamier: The narcissistic pervert movement is an organized way of defending oneself from any internal pain or contradiction, and expelling it to smoulder elsewhere, while at the same time over-valuing oneself. All this at the expense of others and not only without pain but with pleasure.. The object of narcissistic perversion is interchangeable: nothing more and nothing less than a puppet. It’s a utensil.
Source: Les perversions narcissiques by Paul-Claude Racamier, published by Payot.
What is a narcissistic pervert?
This is a toxic, manipulative personality, male or female, who pushes his or her victim to the limit. His state of persecution goes far beyond the acceptance of social norms , tipping this personality disorder into the field of normal. psychiatry. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness.
Unfortunately, the perverse narcissistic personality disorder is characterized in someone who has grew up in a dysfunctional family and suffered traumatic violence and abuse from an early age. The self-image is so damaged that the personality, as a defense mechanism, dehumanizes itself by cutting itself off from its emotions. The child then creates a kind of indestructible bubble to protect himself, disconnecting himself from his empathy and affect.
Sociable, charismatic and hidden under the mask of those who seem to be appreciated by all, they are often seen as humble and benevolent people to the most gifted, but obviously this is a social mask. Narcissistic Perverts are unstable. They do harm to those around them, bring a great deal of suffering and manage to shatter lives.
There are several types of perversion, but the particularity of the narcissistic perverse personality is that it enhances narcissism through the narcissism of others. To put it simply, the NP lives through other people’s opinion, and needs it to exist.
When one of them crosses your path, whether at work or in your private life – close friends, family and even your spouse – your daily life can quickly turn to hell.
How many Narcissistic Perverts are there in France?
Psychiatrists and psychologists still don’t seem to agree on the estimated number of narcissistic perverts in France. According to the psychiatrist Dominique Barbier, in the worst-case scenario,10% of the French population would have a Narcissistic Pervert profile. For those who are more measured, we’re talking about 2-3% of the French population.
We hope Dominique Barbier is wrong, because 10% of manipulative narcissistic perverts is scary! That’s 1 in 10 people, or potentially 6.7 million people in our country alone!
What works for the narcissistic pervert is that, very often, the game is seductive for the victim. He seems fine, skilful, intelligent, mysterious.
The NP gives the impression of being both unattainable, as if the fact that he’s interested in us is already some kind of privilege he’s granting us, and at the same time, he (quickly) can’t do without us… He’s suddenly always there! He’s the one who sets the pace of the relationship and imposes his rhythm. It’s when he wants to or doesn’t want to, and you have to adapt to that or risk him turning away from you. That’s when the real trap is set and the hold begins.
How a narcissistic pervert works
As Racamier points out in his book: les pervers narcissiques,the narcissistic pervert is organized and thoughtful,” abstaining only if the ground is not propitious “.
Narcissistic Pervert: a cunning and skilful hunter
Narcissistic Perverts people know how to wait to act when the time is right, and give up on their objectives at the risk of exposing themselves “as soon as they feel exposed “. There’s something at once animal, predatory and intuitive about the way a narcissistic pervert acts.
Perverts are realists: they plan, organize, prepare, postpone and premeditate their behavior. They are skilful enough to disguise their ends and conceal their objectives ” because they always act in the shadows “. That’s why they’re so dangerous, and why it’ s so important to know how to spot them so you don’t fall into the trap .
A narcissistic pervert has no empathy for others. They may pretend and convince themselves that they have high self-esteem, but this is only an unconscious way of reassuring themselves.
His fear of himself makes him extremely egocentric and self-centered. This is precisely what drives him: to hold himself in high esteem by devaluing the other, he renarcissizes himself thanks to the narcissism of the other, invain! The narcissistic pervert is unable to connect with others and, deep down, hates himself for it.
The Narcissistic Pervert is a pathological liar and is quite bluff in this area. You’ll never know right from wrong! NPs are incapable of questioning themselves; it’s a survival instinct for them to put the blame on others and therefore to lie in order to maintain their credibility and their famous social image.
Narcissistic Pervert: mental illness and personality disorder
The narcissistic pervert is a master seducer and yet it has no personality. He is unable to assert himself alone and lives in a permanent false self.
Its values are often hollow , and so are its speeches. Behind all the morality lessons, there’s nothing but a bland, empty personality.
If you’ve been in contact with a narcissistic pervert, remember that if he’s chosen you, it’s because you represent to him what he’ll never be able to be: a whole person!
Signs of the narcissistic perverse man
The narcissistic pervert acts in an insidious way and doesn’t feel guilty about his behavior because he blames others. His feelings and conduct adapt to the circumstances he encounters, the environment and the people he comes into contact with. The pervert may thus appear amiable, sympathetic and very socially adapted. If at first everything seems perfect, very quickly the mask cracks to reveal its flaws.
To help you protect yourself from this devastating personality and avoid a toxic relationship, here’s a list of signs to help you spot it.
20 symptoms and signs of narcissistic perverts :
- Sign n°1 : He has a huge ego
- Sign n°2: He often pretends to be the victim
- Sign n°3: He doesn’t hesitate to criticize those around him
- Sign n°4: He’s a chameleon with many faces
- Sign n°5: He always needs to be the center of attention and to have all the attention.
- Sign n°6 : He is a seducer
- Sign n°7: He has a history with other victims and a bad reputation.
- Sign n°8: He’s sorely lacking in empathy
- Sign n°9: He will very quickly want to isolate his victim and cut her off from his environment.
- Sign n°10: Knows how to do everything better than everyone else
- Sign No. 11: He has high self-esteem and overestimates his own abilities.
- Sign n°12: He uses gaslighting with verbal contradictory injunctions to keep his victim in the dark
- Sign n°13: He sows discord, creates suspicion and divides to better rule.
- Sign n°14: He lies like he breathes
- Sign n°15: There is a very strong dissonance between his words and his actions.
- Sign n°16: Doesn’t take responsibility for anything and blames others for his failures
- Sign n°17 : He is moody and has frequent mood swings.
- Sign n°18: He can’t stand frustration, being told no or standing up to others.
- Sign n°19: He’s the sole master of the discussion, he can cut it short at any time or refuse a discussion that bores him.
- Sign n°20: He makes his victims emotionally, materially and financially dependent on him.
Perverse narcissists are difficult personalities to describe and decipher, especially in the early stages. When in doubt, trust yourself, listen and run!
It’s a recent concept in the world of psychology. The number of predators, also known as narcissistic perverts, now represents 3 to 10% of the population.
In the course of their lives, they will claim at least 3 major victims, some of whom may contemplate suicide or even commit suicide. There are as many men as women who are narcissistic perverts, but women find it easier to camouflage their manipulative personalities.
Gifted people and Narcissistic Perverts: The Dreaded Attraction
Suivez le Zèbre is a blog dedicated to neurodiversity. Gifted (High Learning Potential) and Hypersensitive profiles are particularly likely to be attracted to manipulative personalities, as they are easily influenced and manipulated by their great capacity for self-questioning.
If you are interested in the relationship between Gifted and narcissistic perverts you can read our article: Gifted and narcissistic perverts, personalities that attract each other.
You will also find in Mel Poinas‘ book, Suivez le Zèbre, the explanation of this dependency link between gifted and narcissistic perverts and how to get out of it.
Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.
More information on narcissistic perverts?
If you’d like to find out more about the characteristics of the female narcissistic pervert, take a look at our dedicated article.
To go further, we propose you the list of the 30 typical behaviors determined by the specialist of manipulators and toxic relationships, Isabelle Nazare-Aga.
Do you want to go deeper into the subject ? Discover our other articles on narcissistic perverts
- rebuild yourself after having been in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert
- Relationship with a Narcissistic Pervert, understanding post-traumatic shock
- Is my spouse a narcissistic pervert?
- Can one be HPI and Narcissistic Pervert?
- The best books on narcissistic perverts
- HPI and Narcissistic Pervert
- Testimony: Leaving a Narcissistic Pervert
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