Can one be HPI and Narcissistic Pervert?

Can an HP also be a manipulative narcissistic pervert?

From the good you will learn nothing but good, but, if you mix with the wicked, you will lose even what you had of sense.
Theognis OF MEGARUS

You’d think that if zebra people are highly empathetic and sensitive, it would be unimaginable to think thata zebra could himself be a narcissistic pervert.

Yet I can’t help thinking about it.

What zebras and narcissistic perverts have in common

Like the zebra, the narcissistic pervert generally has an above-average IQ. This is what allows him to make the other suffer so much. He uses his intelligence to manipulate and brainwash.

The difference between a zebra and a narcissistic pervert therefore lies in the second major characteristic, the emotional part. The narcissistic pervert is not endowed with any particular sensitivity, sincehe is devoid of empathy and benevolence.

The hypothesis of the zebra who becomes a narcissistic pervert

I believe that the zebra who becomes a narcissistic pervert is a zebra who has suffered a psychic murder during his childhood construction. It’s an intimate conviction based solely on my personal experience.

Over a period of several years, I have observed several narcissistically perverse personalities . What stood out for me in each case was their intelligence, their adaptability, their analytical skills and their ability to change face to suit the people present. They are skilful with words, deciphering the behavior of others to better manipulate them.

Like zebras, they are very good chameleons and adapt very easily. They function in the same way as zebras, except for empathy, self-questioning and guilt. They know perfectly well how to read other people’s emotions and imitate them. They have great mimicry powers.

A born actor: ease on stage and boundless creativity

From the private to the public sphere, they change roles and postures with disconcerting ease. They’re incredible actors, and they love acting. They excel at role-playing, switching from one character to another depending on who’s watching.

Life is a gigantic performance space for the narcissistic pervert . His entourage gives him a run for his money, but he always treats them like puppets, duping them to enhance his image. A huge ego-stage in which only the image reflected in the mirror of the other’s eyes counts. He has this visceral need to be the center of attention.

I often read and hear that they have no creativity, yet when you live alongside them, you can’t help but notice their ingenuity in devising plans that are as crazy as they are Machiavellian. To have a double life, or even a triple life, you have to be pretty imaginative and creative, especially if you don’t want to get caught!

Anger, frustration and fear of failure

Like the zebras they have a huge frustration problem and a strong need to control everything. For zebras who have grown up in an image-conscious family, it’s very difficult to detach themselves from the gaze of others. In fact, zebras that have evolved in a healthy, loving and secure environment are less likely to be attracted to NPs.

Zebras who lack emotional bearings and have been deprived of love are more prone to emotional dependence for fear of rejection or abandonment. The risks of being attracted by a PN are then much greater.

With a zebra who’s cut himself off from his emotions, attraction seems almost inevitable, because just like the emotionally-starved zebra, what the narcissistic pervert is looking for is to exist in the gaze of the other.

The link between the image you have to project to the outside world and the narcissistic wound seems to be relatively correlated, even if I haven’t done any studies to prove it.

How does a zebra become a narcissistic pervert?

A narcissistic pervert is a personality that has been so abused, belittled, humiliated or, on the contrary, protected to the point of suffocation, that it has ended up being destroyed.

Suffering or love become so unbearable that he prefers to reject and cut himself off from all emotion for good.

The narcissistic pervert, victim then executioner

His new target appears on the honeymoon as his savior. Her seduction technique is always the same: play the victim. The narcissistic pervert is firmly convinced that this new person will enable him to live again, to feel loved and important, and to make up for his shortcomings.

For me, the narcissistic pervert was really a victim. However, for him, this situation of victimhood is unacceptable, because he hasn’t gone beyond the ego stage. When he realizes that his new target can’t save him, the only things left are anger and frustration. To get rid of this anger, he’ll replay the role of the executioner he suffered when he was younger.

In his self-image, he will always prefer to be an executioner rather than a victim. The narcissistic pervert is incapable of overcoming what traumatized him as a child andconfronting his true tormentor.

Narcissistic Pervert, the refusal of debt

Yet someone has to pay. And the one who will pay is his new victim. To clear his conscience, the narcissistic pervert will alternate the roles of executioner and savior. It’s his way of dealing with his conscience.

We return to the classic Karpman triangle: persecutor – savior – victim. persecutor – savior – victim.

To break someone to their core, you need to be a brilliant manipulator with a solid grounding in cognitive science. What differentiates a narcissistic pervert from a psychopath is that the narcissistic pervert is unstable, impatient and has difficulty controlling his or her emotions.

Intensity, impulsiveness and impatience are characteristics that clearly echo the zebra’s personality.

The unbreakable bond between zebras and narcissistic perverts

I’m not saying that all narcissistic perverts are zebras gone wrong. I’m just saying that, if you cut a zebra off from his emotions, empathy and benevolence, then he can, just like a non-zebra, become a narcissistic pervert. A fearsome narcissistic pervert, he’ll have a way of working and a vision of the world that will enable him to do even more harm.

I’m also convinced that, just as we’re able to recognize each other recognize each other among zebras we resonate with the narcissistic pervert as if he were a lost sheep in the flock.

The powerlessness you feel when faced with a narcissistic pervert

I’ve been confronted with some of them several times.

Firstly, in my professional environment. Alongside my colleagues, I have suffered from this type of despotic, manipulative and intransigent manager. I saw colleagues upset, broken in two, stunned by what was happening to them.

The same words kept coming back: incomprehension and powerlessness. Pressure, stress, tension, sick leave and resignations followed.

How do you fight this scourge when the top management an accomplice? I don’t have the answer… Run away? Letting go? Fighting?

Accepting that we’ll never have the answers

I’ve also had to deal with it in my personal life. No matter the billions of questions I asked myself during and after some of the stories, I still don’t have the answers.

Finally, was it really a relationship with narcissistically perverse personality ? Is it me who has this vision of my past relationship or was it really the case? How much responsibility do I bear for what happened? I’ll never know and I’ll never have the proof or the certainty of being right or wrong.ort.

I think the only solution is toaccept that it happened. Accept that it happened and accept that now it’s over.

My advice for the future is to learn to spot them, understand the mechanisms of manipulation and, for me, prepare to leave as quickly as possible.

I’ve never seen a narcissistic pervert question himself or change, and I’m convinced that you can’t help or change an NP’s behavior.

When two forces meet, the only way to avoid collision is to change course

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

To go further, you can read

• Narcissistic Pervert, understanding post-traumatic shock
• Recommended books for understanding the Narcissistic Pervert personality
• Recovering from a relationship with a Narcissistic Pervert
• How do you recognize a Narcissistic Pervert?
• The 30 characteristics of the Narcissistic Pervert personality
• How do you leave a Narcissistic Pervert?

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