Welcome to Suivez le Zèbre, the first blog dedicated to neurodiversity and toxic relationships.
After several years’ work, we have identified a significant link between people with atypical cognitive functioning(Giftedness, ADHD, Hypersensitive and ASD) and narcissistics perverts or manipulators.
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person seeks to sow doubt in another about his or her own perception of reality, feelings and memory.
Gaslighting is a technique used by individuals or sectarian groups to gain more power and harm their victims. Gaslighting is mainly used by manipulators, gurus and narcissistic perverts.
The term“gaslighting” comes from the title of a 1938 play entitled “Gas Light”, in which the main character tries to drive his wife mad by making her think she’s losing her mind.
10 gaslighting techniques
Here are 10 common brainwashing techniques used by manipulators:
1- Denying the facts: the manipulator denies the existence of facts or events that have occurred.
2- Minimizing problems: the manipulator minimizes or ridicules the victim’s problems or concerns.
3- Using lies: the manipulator may lie directly to make the victim doubt her own reality.
4- Using words that hurt: the manipulator may use hurtful words to make the victim doubt herself and feel bad.
5- Using confusion: the manipulator uses confusion to make the victim doubt her own perception of reality.
6- Isolating the victim: the manipulator isolates the victim from family, friends or work to make her more vulnerable.
7- Reversing the roles: the manipulatorturns the situation around, making the victim look like the aggressor.
8- Using guilt: the manipulator uses guilt to make the victim doubt her choices and actions.
9- Using harassment tactics: the manipulator persistently harasses the victim to make her doubt herself.
10- Controlling information: the manipulator controls the information the victim receives to keep her in a state of confusion.
Gaslighting can have devastating effects on the victim. The manipulator can threaten you, cut you off from your financial resources and lower your self-esteem to the point of annihilation.
Consequences can vary according to the severity and duration of the abuse, and the victim‘s ability to cope with the manipulation.
The effects of gaslighting
Theeffects of gaslighting occur slowly, so that the victim is unaware that he or she is being brainwashed. People who use this mind-manipulation technique deliberately distort information in order to present themselves or cause the victim to question her own mental health, memory or perception of reality.
Here are some of the possible effects of gaslighting:
- Loss of self-confidence : the victim may end up doubting their own perception of reality and their own feelings, which can lead to a loss of self-confidence.
- Confusion: the victim may be confused and have difficulty understanding what’s really going on in her life, which can make her feel disoriented and vulnerable.
- Anxiety and depression : constant manipulation can lead to anxiety and depression in the victim, who may feel powerless to control her own life.
- Social isolation: the manipulator may try to cut the victim off from friends and family, leaving them alone and vulnerable.
- Physical problems: constant stress and tension can lead to headaches, muscle pain and other physical problems, even total asthenia.
- Feelings of insanity: the victim may end up feeling crazy, unable to distinguish reality from fiction, which can lead to a loss of reality and mental stability.
Gaslighting can have a series of negative consequences for the victim, affecting mental, physical and emotional health. It’s important to recognize the signs of gaslighting and seek professional help to put an end to this form of manipulation.
Victims of gaslighting may experience confusion, isolation, frustration and anger. Gaslighting can be subtle or obvious, but the effects on victims can be severe.
How to protect yourself from gaslighting?
To protect yourself from gaslighting, it’s important to use other manipulation techniques.
Our 13 tips to protect you from gaslighting :
1- Be aware of signs of gaslighting and manipulation
2- Set clear limits
3- Learn to say no and stay firm on your decision
4- Seek support from loved ones or professionals, especially if you start to feel trapped.
5- Keep a written record of events and conversations to provide tangible proof in the event of blackmail or threats.
6- Stay connected with people you trust and with whom you can exchange in complete safety.
7- Work on your self-esteem, because if you have enough self-confidence, you’ll scare off manipulators.
8- Trust your own memory and experience, don’t be influenced by others
9- Take the time to understand things and clarify them when you have doubts
10- Avoid isolating yourself and cutting yourself off from loved ones
11- Give yourself moments of solitude to do the things you love and for yourself.
12- Always remain financially independent
13- Find a competent professional who’s right for you to discuss your issues
Finally, in the case of obvious gaslighting, we can only advise you to run away from this person and cut all ties for good.
If this happens to you at work, you can talk to your manager. If the manipulator is your manager, you can go and see the staff representative bodies and your N+2. You can build a case if you have enough evidence. If nothing happens, the best solution is to change departments or leave your company.
Neurodivergent profiles are particularly likely to be attracted to manipulative personalities, as they are easily influenced and manipulated by their great capacity for self-questioning.
In Mel Poinas‘ book, Suivez le Zèbre, you’ll also find an explanation of the dependency link between giftedness, hypersensitivity and narcissistic perversion, and how to get out of it.
Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.
More information on narcissistic perverts?
If you’d like to find out more about the 20 characteristics of the narcissistic pervert, take a look at our dedicated article.
If you’d like to find out more about the 25 characteristics of the female narcissistic pervert, take a look at our dedicated article.
To go further, we propose you reading the list of the 30 typical behaviors determined by the specialist of manipulators and toxic relationships, Isabelle Nazare-Aga.
Do you want to go deeper into the subject ? Discover our other articles on narcissistic perverts
- Recognizing a narcissistic pervert in a relationship
- Testimony: Leaving a Narcissistic Pervert
- Recovering from a relationship with a narcissistic pervert
- Relationship with a Narcissistic Pervert, understanding post-traumatic shock
- Can one be HPI and Narcissistic Pervert?
- The best books on narcissistic perverts
- HPI and Narcissistic Pervert