Blogs about HPI and zebras!

Follow the zebra and other gifted blogs!

I’m not going to quote OTIS from Mission Cleopatra again, but I will:

This taste for love, therefore, has driven me today to undertake (…) to place myself at the service of the community, to make the gift, the gift of self…

2017: the year of change!

2017 has been an emotional year for me. It was already the year I turned 30. It was also the year I learned that j’étais zèbre (in August with the WAIS IV results) is the year I met #J, who still shares my life today, it’s the year I decided to leave everything behind and move to New Zealand, and it’s also the year I launched Suivez le zèbre.

The creation of Suivez le zèbre

What inspired me to create the blog was the discovery of my giftedness. Um, now that I know I’m a zebra, what do I do with it? I think we’re ALL asking ourselves that question!

Suffering to be able to blossom?

And then there was a relationship and a break-up, extremely violent, toxic, after which I discovered that I was a zebra. I’ve been doing some research on narcissistic perverts and especially on how to recover / rebuild after an affair with a narcissistic pervert.

I had come across Scarlett’s great blog post on PNs (I searched but couldn’t find her blog on the web!). If anyone finds it, please pass it on to me, because at the time I reread her article 200 times and it did me so much good that if I can thank her, I’d really like to).

In 2016, there was still very little information on the subject. At that time, I read everything I could find on narcissistic perverts, toxic relationships andmanipulation. I needed to understand. There’s always this obsessive need to understand everything!

Writing, a liberating therapy.

Then, after being validated as an official zebra and deciding to move to New Zealand, I wanted to turn the page definitively on my former relationship through writing.

I’ve always written. Since I was a child. I read and wrote a lot, a lot, a lot! Writing is like therapy for me.

Discovering blogging and other zebra bloggers

2 years ago, I knew nothing about blogging and bloggers. In fact, I still don’t know anything about it!

I write to understand what it means to be a zebra and try to make it my own.

I started writing, not to be known or recognized, but because it felt good.

I needed toevacuate all these emotions and, I know now with hindsight, to do myself justice. I was hurt, I thought everything that had happened was unfair. My whole life had gone to hell! After 3 years of a roller-coaster relationship, I’d come out of it completely devastated, and she was getting on with her life, as if nothing had happened. And I needed to express that.

Follow the zebra, between justification and protection

I also know now that it was a way of protecting myself. Narcissistic perverts, whether male or female, act like hard drugs. We’re already a bit prone to addictions when we’re zebras… The emotional shot of these people and the hold they have over us makes us directly addictive.

As a result, I knew that by saying on a blog, in public access, that this person who had shared my life and traumatized me completely, was a narcissistic pervert, she would never forgive me. And as a result, he would certainly never want to speak to me or see me again in his life.

So, Follow the Zebra was a bit of an anti-NP shield and an opportunity to move on.

Follow the Zebra readers and community.

In the early days of the blog, I was searching for myself a bit, writing like this, a bit all over the place. I even wrote an article on mountain decor (my old job). Looking back, I know that article was super bad! Because I was talking about something I wasn’t really convinced about…

I now know that the strength of my articles lies in my authenticity.

Be authentic, be myself.

I write like I talk. Fast, very fast. Because when I write, I’m afraid the words I’m thinking about will be gone forever. So, quickly, quickly write them down so we don’t forget them.

This blog has also helped me enormously in asserting my identity, who I am. It also allows me to defend my ideas. To talk about subjects or actions that I find unfair, incoherent… I’m at home here, it’s a part of me, my home, my cocoon that I’m sharing with you.

The need for recognition and to feel useful

It gives me a voice, and of course it’s all thanks to you! I feel useful writing and trying to help or inspire some of you. And it feels really, really, crazy good, because it helps us believe that the world can be more beautiful, or at least less ugly, than it is!

Without looking for it, I found the Suivez le Zèbre community. In fact, it was you who found me!

So thank you, thank you, thank you and I can’t thank you all enough for everything you do for me every day!

The blog’s first theme: Giftedness and Narcissistic Perverts

My first readers were victims of narcissistic perverts looking for information on narcissistic perversion.

– How to get out of a hold.
– How to leave a narcissistic pervert.
– How to rebuild after a narcissistic pervert .

 

The link between Narcissistic Perverts and Zebras

There’s a lot of talk about narcissistic perverts, but very little about the aftermath. Yet this is the most difficult period. You find yourself alone, cut off from the world, with your self-esteem at rock bottom.

How to go on living after a relationship with a narcissistic pervert

You feel guilty, responsible, humiliated. We’re often ashamed of what we’ve been through, so we don’t dare talk about it, and find ourselves even more alone… And it happens to people who on the surface seem cool and strong.

Victims of Narcissistic Perverts who have come to consult some of my articles have found themselves in the characteristics of zebras. And the more time passed, the more I understood what had happened to me, the more I turned the page. The first articles by narcissistic perverts gave way to my first zebra feelings. And the articles on manipulation and narcissistic perverts have disappeared, leaving all the room for giftedness!

Today, I no longer feel the need to write about narcissistic perversion for myself.

I’ve moved on. I’ve rediscovered balance, serenity and meaning. I know who I am and why I do things. I’ve changed, a lot. I’m lonelier, more assertive and less accessible too. And I feel good that way.

Why did I choose the name Follow the Zebra?

I come from the world of marketing and communications. I’m a professor in higher education in Management, but my original profession was Project Manager with a specialization in Digital Marketing.

A 100% homemade, autididact zebra blog!

In fact, Suivez le zèbre is 100% self-taught. I manage everything from A to Z. I’d also like to apologize here for the advertising on the blog. This is so boring. I set it up to cover the monthly costs of the blog, but it’s actually polluting it a lot, and I’m going to stop in the next few weeks.

I chose the name Follow the Zebra. When I looked to see if anyone had already thought of this name, I came acrossAudrey Bouquet ‘s project, which has since led to the creation of zatipik. Before Zatipik, Audrey went on a tour of France in a camper van to discover other zebras in France. His project was called Follow the Zebra. She’s written a book about it: Meeting my fellow striped creatures.

I don’t think Audrey uses her project name Follow the Zebra anymore. But his project is still great. I think it’s a great idea, and driving around in a camper van is one of our post-New Zealand projects. As a result, Audrey’s project already resonates strongly with me.

Why the blog name Follow the Zebra?

When I saw that Suivez le zèbre was already taken, I was so disappointed I thought I’d find another one. Coming from com, I knew that having the same “Name” as someone else wasn’t ideal. When you’re just starting out, it’s best to choose a name that nobody else has, as it makes you more easily identifiable and unique.

But no matter how hard I looked for another blog name that inspired me, I couldn ‘t find one. I saw that Audrey had a FB group but no website. So I thought, too bad if there are two of us with the same “name”.

Well, never mind, it’s Follow the Zebra!

I loved Follow the zebra. That was me, that was what I wanted to convey. I liked the idea of using the verb “to follow”, which represented movement, adventure, inspiration, leadership and then the initiatory journey: Follow!

And then the zebra, because it’s the only term I can identify with, and I also liked the image of the zebra. So I launched Follow the Zebra because I wanted that term to represent me.

Blogs I resonate with

I have no ego. I often say this in my articles. If I were doing things to be rich and famous and loved, I wouldn’t be blogging!

A personal blog is rarely profitable

First of all, becausea content blog doesn’t make any money (because there’s nothing to buy on it or no sponsored articles), and secondly, because I’m terrified of notoriety, which is why it took me 15 months to take over the blog in my own name!

And as for loving others, ever since my super shrink told me “you’re alone and the only person who can really love and take care of you is you”. I put the notion of love into perspective! And I have my loved ones for love, and that’s enough for me 🙂

Experience sharing and zebra testimonials

On the other hand, following the zebra is mostly a way for me totry to help other zebras live better, well, gifted lives. But I’m onlyone point of view in the world of giftedness. And there are plenty of other zebras sharing their adventures and experiences, just as inspiring and talented as I am.

I don’t want to have a monopoly on giftedness. Chatting with Chloë from Rayures et Ratures last night inspired me to write this post. We talked about our blogs, our respective projects, how we were living it, the impact our blogs had had on our lives and also our readers.

Other Zebra blogs I exchange with

Stripes and scratches

Stripes and Stripes is a blog about giftedness that resonates with Follow the Zebra. It’s our zebra-like view of the world around us. There’s Chloë, but then there’s Raphaël from the blog Surdoué ou pas surdoué? who I love too!

Gifted or not?

Raph inspired the Rapunzel passage in my article on zebra psychology, citing her as a gifted Disney heroine. I thought it was great and I also understood why I was a Rapunzel fan!

Toulouzèbre

I think they’re both great, and I too sometimes need to look for another vision of giftedness than my own. I also love Fab de toulouzebre who has a super sharp vision of giftedness, has been immersed in this field for a long time and is surrounded by well-known and recognized practitioners.

It’s less about testimonials, and more about sharing tools, articles, research, conferences etc… And she also talks about other atypical profiles than zebras.

Zebra Dialogues

Florence de dialogues de zèbre contacted me for the carnival of zebra articles. Unfortunately, I find it hard to write to order. And I didn’t participate. Maybe another time.

Over the 130

I was recently quoted in overthe130 ‘s resources, so I discovered this very scientific and theoretical blog. I’ve learned a lot about how our brains work and, for example, how IQ is calculated using the WAIS.

You won’t find this scientific aspect on Follow the Zebra, because I don’t know much about science and I live everything through my emotional prism… In empirical mode!

Follow the zebra, today in my life

I’m not a shrink! I had resumed my studies in psychology before New Zealand, but this trip, and life itself, changed my plans. I finally realized that psychology wasn’t for me. I need to be multi-project, to rub shoulders with different worlds and people.

A major project today

So, since my return, I’ve decided to do lots of different things and not just one thing. Follow the Zebra has become an important project in my life. It’s something that does me a lot of good and takes up a lot of my time, almost a half-time! I don’t know if it’s a project that will drive me for 5 or 10 years, but right now it is.

Is there a rivalry between the different zebra bloggers?

I don’t feel any rivalry with other blogs on giftedness. On the contrary, I think the more we talk about giftedness and zebras, the more people we’ll help to understand what it is. How it works and also how to get detected.

Depending on the study, we’re talking about 0.1% of people, 2%, 5%… In fact, no one really knows how many people in France and around the world are gifted. Honestly, I think we’re closer to 10% than 0.1%! But that’s just me…

Catherine, a shrink at home

Another format, but just as interesting, is Catherine ‘s You Tube channel: une psy à la maison. I don’t know if Catherine is really a shrink or not, but it doesn’t matter! The quality of her content and explanations is just so good. This channel helped me enormously when I was looking for answers about narcissistic perversion! She also makes the connection between narcissistic perverts and zebras.

Other gifted blogs, and me!

So I invite you to do me some favors! Check out other blogs on giftedness. Discover other points of view, other styles. I promise I won’t hold it against you. 🙂

I’m against communitarianism and dictatorship. Having several visions of giftedness, several testimonials, shows the range of personalities we represent.

You can love more than one zebra blogger

When I think of gifted bloggers, I think of comedians. I love Florence Foresti, Nora Hamzawi, Nicole Ferroni and Blanche Gardin. Sorry guys, I recognize myself more in girls’ humor, that’s why I only quote girls. I identify with what they say! I find myself in all of them, even if they’re different. I find that Florence Foresti and Nora Hamzawi have a similar style of humor. Humor that I love. So I didn’t choose, I went to see both!

Fortunately, you can like blogs other than mine and recognize yourself in many of the testimonials of other bloggers. That’s why Chloë and Raphaël and I trade. Because alone we go faster, but together we go further.

Democratizing the notion of giftedness to promote diversity

And by continuing to write on this theme, we’re democratizing it! We’re contributing to the acceptance of neurodiversity as something rooted in society.

Of course, our atypical way of functioning creates some incredible situations, which is also what makes our subject so interesting. To be a zebra is to see the world in a particular way, but zebra or not, we all have our own vision of the world. It all depends on how you look at it.

I’m a zebra blogger…

I’m a high-potential person, and I’m not ashamed to say it. But I have a very simple life in the end, which looks like everyone else’s.

…and a Mrs. Everyman

I am in a couple, I have a dog, I have a steady job, I am renting in a small residence with neighbors. I’ve got friends. (This question I love, but does he have any friends?). Yes, zebras have friends, and not all of them are zebras. 🙂

I work out, I go to restaurants, I have drinks after work. If I don’t say I’m a zebra, no one can tell at first!

I’m integrated into society

In fact, you’re a zebra, but you can be very well integrated into society without hiding behind your false self. And zebras, like other “communities”, have it all. There are people who are super cool, super benevolent, with values of sharing, humility and altruism, and then there are those who have other values. They’re not better or worse, they’re just who they are.

As giftedness bloggers, we’re all zebras, so inevitably, we share the same characteristics!

Similar characteristics when you’re gifted

We’re going to talk to you about the people around us, our relationship to work, love and friendship. We’re all hypersensitive, emotional, lovers of justice and respect. We’re all looking for meaning and a fairer world, because we’re zebras!

And the fact that we’re zebras means that on many things we have the same vision, the same feeling! But just because we have the same feelings doesn’t mean we’re the same people.

Chloë has a cat, I have a dog, Raphaël is also into cats, Fab I don’t even know if she has a pet. Chloë and Raphaël draw and illustrate their blog, not me. I love quotes (and I love their illustrations too). Raphaël is a workaholic. I’m impressed by the amount of work and writing he’s put in since setting up his blog in such a short space of time!

Anyway, thanks for following us!

All of you, because it’s thanks to all of you that we exist and continue to exist. We’re not infallible, so forgive us if we don’t always have the answers to your questions, or the time to answer them.
Rest assured that we’ll always do the best we can with what we have! 🙂

You Tube channel about zebras and narcissistic perverts:

– Catherine de la chaîne: a shrink in the house

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!