Here’s a testimonial from a young zebra in the making!

The day I decided to take control of my life!

In this second testimonial, Lise tells us how she lives with her giftedness. Lise I met by chance, but of course there’s no such thing as chance. 😉

We’d been talking for several weeks before she sent me this beautiful testimonial! What a surprise when I read it… There were even sentences I could have written myself! I still find it impressive, by the way! This way of being in the world that we ALL have when we’re zebras, of feeling like we come from the same “family”. It’s scary, but at the same time incredible to be able to look so much alike!

I’m happy, touched and proud that she chose Follow the Zebra to tell us about herself and help us understand what it’s like to be a zebra, gifted, high-potential, overachiever, different, unique, carefree!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your trust and this heartfelt testimony. 🙂
Mel

The day I decided to take control of my life. And that I discovered myself.

After 8 months of living together with a man falling into the category: narcissistic pervert I made the difficult decision to leave and get rid of this toxic relationship. Being told every day that if this relationship doesn’t work out, it’s your fault, there’s something wrong with you, you’re not good enough at this or that. You’ve left your loved ones, you’re alone, you live only for him and he doesn’t deign to give you a minute. He takes refuge in work and drugs.

You’re just a pawn on his chessboard and he shapes you as he pleases, tortures you psychologically, your body is never enough, your taste in clothes doesn’t suit him, and you’ve got a problem. We shut ourselves away until we’re tiny and invisible. And yet I loved him passionately, I gave him everything.

Leaving and rebuilding

That day, I took all my belongings and went back to my parents’ house 430km away. And what a relief I felt, as if that anvil that weighed a ton had turned into a cloud that just wanted to go back where it came from.

So I decided to turn to a psychologist specializing in cognitive and behavioral psychology. One day at a session she advised me to read “je pense trop” Cristel Petitcollin. She simply said, read it it will change your life and we’ll talk about it in a few weeks.

This book aptly describes what she considers a gifted or mentally overachiever (or a zebra, high potential). You can imagine my surprise when I set out on this adventure. As the pages went by, I discovered myself. I had this strange feeling of finally feeling normal. To find someone who would finally give me an explanation for all those years of total incomprehension and perpetual disconnect.

Who am I?

What am I? A little 27-year-old who’s always been ahead of the game, with an uncommon ability to adapt and see the big picture. Sometimes it’s exhausting to see what others don’t see at all. We even wonder if it’s normal to want to manage everything this way, to want to fall behind others when everything isn’t done. And to see how much remains to be done.

And then, I feel everything in an amplified way, a light that’s too bright, a sound that’s too loud, a noise that’s different, a temperature that’s too high. I listen to myself more than 90% of people, I know my body and I really know myself, my functioning and defense mechanisms. I have a kind of 6th sense, when I don’t feel something I don’t go there, it’s inexplicable… And it always turns out to be the right decision.

I’ve had a wide variety of professional experiences and positions of responsibility at a young age, and I revealed my potential early on. I gave everything I had for a few years to this international company called Club Med. The watchword is devotion. It plays tricks on me to be who I am.People sometimes see me as a threat because I’m competent and because I’m “too” nice. I prefer the word too involved. I’m always asked to do more, because I can.

Zebra, tame that strength!

Over the years, I’ve learned to channel all that, to let go when I need to. And to accept that I find it very hard to be a manager. I’m no longer a false self who adapts to people depending on the situation, now I’m me!

And I finally accept, sometimes with difficulty, that I don’t please everyone. I try to be more sociable and less introverted, to mix with people, I try to let the people around me do things at their own pace. I’m enriched by their personalities and ways of doing things. I try every day to fill my days less, to live more truly and intensely and to appreciate every moment.

I’ve come to accept that I’m a sensitive person, and I’m better at dealing with injustice. In my Care Bear world, everyone is positive, loving and full of good intentions. And despite the terrible things that happen, I’ll stay that way. Smiling, bubbly and deeply in love with people.

I’m out of step, yes, but now I’m aware of it, and even though my thoughts are intrusive and my brain is racing more than normal, I’m grateful for everything it’s given me so far.

Don’t forget to be you, there will always be people to love you completely.

Thank you to my other half, without whom I wouldn’t have been able to discover this gem, Thank you Follow the Zebra!

Lise F, 27, Bourg en Bresse.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

To go further, you can read

• Managing hypersensitivity when you’re gifted
• Gifted, learning to manage your fears
• The 30 characteristics of the perverse narcissistic personality
• Recovering from a relationship with a narcissistic pervert
• Characteristics of High Potential
• HPI: Explanations and testimonials by Mel Poinas

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