Solutions to avoid being an anxious giftee!

Ever since I took the WAIS IV and was found to be gifted, I’ve been really interested in what giftedness is!

I’ve joined several groups on Facebook, I follow quite a few specialized French associations, and I read a lot, a lot, a lot! Why? Because I want to become a specialist in giftedness! In fact, I’ve resumed my studies in psychology with this in mind.

I’d like to help as many gifted, HP and zebra children as possible to better manage their anxieties.

Zebra, gifted, high potentials, HPI, don’t fall into apriori

Generally speaking, I find that, in the articles and in many of the testimonials, the notion of failure, difficulties, malaise and anguish often emerges. But don’t panic, anxiety is not inevitable!

Indeed, when you don’t know you’re gifted, I know from experience that there are times when you feel like you’re completely at a loss… On the other hand, once you know it, I think it really changes things! So maybe not for everyone…

In any case, for me it changed everything, my approach to others and my choices in my daily life!

Zebra, may the force be with you!

For several months now, I’ve been reading a lot of testimonials from gifted people, or those close to gifted people, who talk about the feeling of anxiety. Anxiety is a collateral damage of giftedness. In fact, the hypersensitive, extralucid side makes us anticipate anything and everything, and I think that gives us a little paranoid side.

You ABSOLUTELY have to learn to deal with this side of things. Make it a strength so as not to fall on the dark side of the force… Yes, humor… One of my many qualities 🙂 ^^

I’m lucky in that I’ve never been too prone to anxiety, even before my diagnosis. I’m not saying it never happened, but it was more at times when I was under a lot of pressure. Whether it’s work, sport, or relationship problems with people more or less close to me.

Conclusion > for me, pressure and conflict generate anxiety…

Learning to tame your giftedness!

So now that I’ve identified what could give me anxiety, and especially since I know I’m gifted, I don’t do it anymore!

My advice : To stop your anxiety, know yourself!
The basics: a pen, a piece of paper, or a keyboard, a page and we write down everything that causes us anxiety. Nota Bene, this advice is valid for all of us, gifted or not, knowing yourself well is the best way to achieve happiness😉 !

Once we’ve identified it, we make sure we don’t get into any more shitty situations. For example, for me, pressure and conflict are my number one enemies! As soon as I’m under pressure, I’m at my wit’s end and capable of pissing anyone off… As a result, I fell into conflict, and my anxiety increased tenfold! So… For my personal well-being and that of those around me, I no longer put myself under pressure!

My different ways of handling pressure!

So, to avoid building up pressure like a pressure cooker, I have my little habits:

– I anticipate! Before, I was always late, I don’t know why, I have a big problem with the notion of time ^^! So now I try not to leave things to the last minute…
–I make time in the week for myself, just me, all by myself, to take a breather!
– I plan evenings out with people I like so as not to fall into the autistic side…
– I’ve given up horror movies for good, just comedy 😉
– I love taking care of myself, so when I’m feeling a bit under the weather, I head for the bath, salts and effervescent balls, candles and good music.
– I make myself some good food to cheer me up.
– I do sport, it relaxes me!
– I’m settling the dispute quickly so as not to dwell on it for a thousand years.
– I talk to my super HP buddy to explain my point of view. She helps me look at the situation from another angle and often defuses the bomb (surrounding yourself well is important) 😉
– I’ve learned to say stop. Now when it doesn’t suit me anymore, I stop. Saying stop is not running away. You have the right to make mistakes, and to realize that at some point you’ve made the wrong choice, and that’s okay!

AND, ABOVE ALL, I’ve stopped trying to manage and control everything. When you’re gifted, you want to know everything, understand everything, control everything, do everything well and do everything perfectly, and above all find an explanation for everything that happens…

Yes, there is an explanation, but are we really responsible for everything?

LET GO, Just do it!

Ah ah! That’s the magic word… Learning to let go… It should be included in all school textbooks and also in all books on giftedness, zebras and high potentials. Just like the concept of mindfulness.

On the other hand, I warn you, letting go can be learned and is hard work! I started working on myself two years ago. And more seriously over the past year. The result was quite positive, as I discovered that I was a zebra, six months after I had really immersed myself in personal development.

Today, letting go and managing emotions are part of my daily routine. Now you’re thinking, okay, so letting go is supposed to mean accepting that you can’t control everything, and yet, Poupi tells us, you have to learn…

Yes, yes, yes… We live in a society of OVER control and perfection… I want to teach you not to be perfect, but to learn to be yourself. Okay, but how?

For me, letting go is like happiness: it’s no longer a destination but a way of life.

I really urge you to do so, because it helps us find a form of serenity that considerably improves our daily lives and our quality of life.

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

To go further, you can read

• Personal development
• Personal development, an interesting tool for the gifted
• Gifted, High Potential, learn to let go!
• The best books about High Learning Potential
• Giftedness : 20 characteristics of complex and laminar profiles
• How to take the WAIS 4 test?
• How to tell others we are gifted?

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