Read Jeanne’s testimony, a young adult zebra

A new testimonial from Zèbre!

A huge thank you to Jeanne for her confidence and her testimonial in Suivez le Zèbre.

When I discovered I was a zebra

I was discovered a zebra when I was very, very small. First because my big brother is, and my little one too. My parents are too, obviously, because they’ve looked into the matter and recognized us. Secondly, because I was tested in kindergarten for the first time. And yet, this awareness, this understanding framework that was offered to me, didn’t spare me a lot of soul -searching and a childhood that was always a little unsatisfying.

My journey

Everything always went too slowly for me, so I tried to pick up the pace, I skipped two classesI went on to do a pre-preparatory arts course after an S in order to catch up with the others (and then a master’s in law, but only because I was interested). high potential “I was recognized as an intellectual.

But the further I progressed, the more I felt alone, dispossessed, I had no confidence in what I was doing, and even less in who I was. In reality, I had wanted to go too fast and had neglected that part of me that was a bit tumultuous: emotions .

Becoming aware of my emotions

If it’s unnatural, it’s natural. Well, I can tell you that I’ve had quite a rush ofemotions in my face. As I grew older and tried to control and stifle them, they came out stronger, more violent, more devastating. Without being able to understand them, because they were too full of meaning, I let them overwhelm me. I might as well tell you that I’ve spent many a night crying without understanding what was happening to me, feeling consumed withanger over a sweater ordered in the wrong size, finding myself full of euphoria over a kind word from my crush.

Anything could send me from one world to another.

Depression, my trigger

In the end, the only thing that allowed me to put my house in order was a depression. Not a big one, but a pretty radical one that was beginning to draw me into a vicious circle of self-deprecation. I went home and found a book on gifted children in the library. I devoured it in one night and realized that ” it was just me “.

Hypersensitivity, strong values, lack of confidence. It’s as if a whole puzzle is being solved in my head. It was like a new-found part of myself, a kind of “excuse” for all the emotional force I felt guilty about and had wanted to subdue.

Obviously, I didn’t tame her immediately, and besides, she still leads me by the nose from time to time (especially when I try to analyze my emotions instead of feeling themI can guarantee that it takes me into a fictional universe with a semblance of reality, and I’m always disappointed when I come back down to earth). But I’m gradually learning to understand my mechanisms, to deconstruct those moments when I lose my footing in order to regain my footing, to listen to what I like rather than determining it (feeling rather than thinking)…

My relationships with others

Where it’s always complicated, however, is in my relationships with other people, especially when they’re new. Sometimes I move so much in my own world, at my own speed (can you hear the sound barrier exploding?), with my own logic, that I forget that the person in front of me doesn’t have all these keys to understanding, and thatmisunderstandings and even discomfortcan arise when understanding is broken.

For example, certain things are of immense value to me, like trust and respect, and I tend to take them for granted in my relationships (I’ll allow you to call me naive) so I apply them strictly.

But like any self-respecting zebra, my demands on myself tend to rub off on others: I expect the same uprightness from others. The risk, however, is that if the trust is ever broken, it’s extremely hard for me because I feel betrayed.

Wounded, weakened, I’m tempted to wipe the slate clean on this relationship that has let me down and in which I’ve lost all desire to invest myself. Because when I react so strongly (Not only because it takes time to understand the tangle of scorned values and misplaced expectations, but also because it seems pointless to present the process, as a full understanding would require a more global approach to myself (and my zebraism).

The mirror effect of other zebra testimonials

Reading books, testimonials and articles about us helps me to remain confident and, above all, to accept this rather unusual way of perceiving and apprehending things. Saying to myself “but it’s true, my high standards and the strength of my values are also because I’m a zebra ” helps me to get rid of my guilt.

I don’t know if every zebra has the ability to understand one of his fellow zebras instinctively (as I believe we all have our own (too) personal logic), but what is certain is that we build ourselves around a common canvas and that thanks to it, we recognize each other.

It’s always reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who feels alone, strange and incomprehensible!

In conclusion, zebra is?

If I had to conclude, well, I wouldn’t. Because my testimony is that of the beginning of life (I’m only 21) and I can’t conclude on what’s just beginning.

What I can say, however, is that accepting yourself and taking the time (yes, I did say taking the time, so don’t go for it) to get to know yourself is essential if you don’t want to end up becoming your own worst persecutor.

On the other hand, I won’t give you any advice on relationships with other people, because that’s still a big problem for me!

All in good time

Testimonial from Jeanne, 21,
Follow the Zebra reader
11/02/2021

Thank you so much Jeanne for this superb testimonial, very mature and so well written! Thank you for taking part in the Follow the Zebra adventure. Thank you for this wonderful story. Mel

Would you like to share your story on the Follow the Zebra blog?
Write to me about your adventure at contact@suivezlezebre.com

You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!

To go further, you can read

• Managing hypersensitivity when you’re gifted
• Gifted adult, my mom’s testimony
• Testimonial from my friend Charlotte
• Testimony of Jenny, in praise of my difference, proud to be a zebra
• Testimony of a young zebra in the making
• Testimony of Julie, mother of a happy zebra family
• Testimony of Simon, man, zebra and hypersensitive

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