Is being a Zebra more tolerant or intolerant?
Why this article on tolerance and giftedness?
As is often the case, I get my ideas for articles from talking to you!
Putting it into context! 🙂
This morning, at the restaurant (in New Zealand), I was talking to my Italian pastry colleague, who’s been living in the Kiwis for almost 4 years. We get on really well, and being neighbors in Europe brings us closer together, but not only that!
He’s a Buddhist, so I love his philosophy of life about the present moment, stepping back and letting go! And also thatwe’re all connected and at one with nature. I’m not a Buddhist, in fact I don’t really know concretely what I am…
I never believed in God, even as a child. Which reminds me, I’ve been wanting to write an article about zebras and beliefs for a long time! But I have so many ideas for articles all the time, and not enough time to write them… But this one will come too! 😉
Back to my main topic, giftedness and tolerance!
So with my colleague and friend Marco (who’s 43), we often have philosophical discussions! He’s a very open-minded person, and I like him a lot. This morning, he tells me he has friends who are in a difficult situation at the moment because their 18-year-old daughter has told them she wants to become a boy. And, from his face, I can see that he’s a little “shocked” by this announcement.
He can see from mine that I’m surprised by his reaction that he himself is a little shocked that this girl wants to become a boy. Hum I admit that this sentence is not easy to understand ^^, if you get it right the first time, no doubt, you’re a zebra!) #joke (gifted humor ^^) 😀
Since my face can’t lie, I can’t hide any of my states: surprise, anger, astonishment, joy and so on! It’s not really practical on a day-to-day basis because I feel like I can’t protect myself, I’m read like a book… The good thing is that I’m always super sincere and I can’t lie…
Following this, we had a discussion about why I wasn’t shocked that this young lady wanted to become a damsel!
My relationship with tolerance as ME!
One of these arguments was that this young girl would have to take hormones to be a boy, so she would never be 100% boy. I don’t want to write that damn sentence, but I have to explain! Taking hormones to become a boy means fighting against her deepest nature and her body, which would like her to remain a woman without hormones… Either!
However, I have a mom who takes lifelong treatment to regulate her thyroid and a dad who takes several pills a day to regulate his heart… So, the notion of taking pills to make life easier, less restrictive and ultimately help us feel better on a daily basis, well, I think that’s already the case for a lot of people!
I’m not a big fan of drugs and treatments, but sometimes you just don’t have the choice!
To get back to this young girl, whom I know absolutely nothing about, what I see is that if she doesn’t feel comfortable in her body, if she doesn’t feel like a woman, if she wants to be a man, who are we to take that right away from her? It’s her body, her life, her emotions, the way she feels! And I, you, whoever, are no one to judge her and question her needs, her feelings, her life!
So I often ask myself this question: is it the fact of being high-potential, zebra, gifted, whatever the term, that made me, from an early age, have this enormous tolerance, this extreme need to feel free and to let others be free too?
Source : Painter Déborah Chock > Change the World : Words Exhibition
Does my tolerance come from being a zebra?
I sincerely believe that since I was very young I’ve been very tolerant, because I’ve always known I was different! So, subconsciously, I’ve been tolerant with others because I wanted them to be tolerant with me, with who I am, my way of being, my way of thinking…
I’ve always taken certain things for granted! (which obviously still aren’t for a lot of people !!!!) Out of fear I guess… Fear of the image we project, fear of others… Quite simply, fear of judgment! And that’s where we’re wrong…
I don’t feel like judging people simply because I don’t feel like being judged! Nobody’s in my shoes, so I don’t want to be told how to run my life! So I don’t presume to tell others how to run theirs… We all have our own experiences, our own history, our own way of looking at things… But what counts in the end is being happy!
Besides, I’m convinced that if everyone were like me, there’d be no more war 😀 because everyone would live their own way without having to go to the trouble of proselytizing to convince their neighbor that what we think and believe is the only possible way!
And that brings me to my final point! Last but not least 😉
I’m very tolerant, within reason!
I have a very simple but highly effective maxim:
Don’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you…
Or as a reminder, my freedom ends where others’ begin!
This premise makes my life easy! I actually let people live…
I don’t believe in any God, because my brain is rational… I’m a terribly rational person! So I only believe what is verifiable, what I can see or what has been proven.
Unfortunately, no one has ever seen or proven the existence of God, Allah, Poseidon, Cupid, Zeus, Casimir or the Care Bears… At least, I’ve never seen them.
As a result, I don’t believe in monsters, God, the Lady in White or any other urban legend. On the other hand, I’m not stopping anyone from believing!
As for religion, I find it beautiful in the limit of the alienation of the individual… AND unfortunately, once again, the books followed by believing people are written by men, and interpreted by men… They have been written and rewritten and interpreted and reinterpreted thousands of times… And strangely enough the little I know is Thou shalt not kill, and I have the impression that the most proselytizing sometimes tend to omit this one!
I prefer to stick to something that speaks to me:
All men are born free and equal before the law; a woman is actually a man, in case anyone’s still wondering…
I respect religious people as long as no one gets on my nerves because I don’t believe in them… I think it’s beautiful when people have faith. I share my life with a religious person, and I respect her enormously for that. She respects that I don’t believe in it, and in fact it works! We never get worked up about it, on the contrary, I’d gladly go to Christmas mass with him if it made him happy (because I think it’s beautiful, even if I’m not religious).
Likewise, I don’t judge people by their physical appearance, everyone dresses, does their hair and wears the style that pleases them! I’m a woman, so I don’t like skirts, because I look like I’m in disguise when I wear them…
But I think women wearing dresses and skirts is really beautiful, even men in kilts are beautiful!
And of course, even when a woman dresses a little sexy, she’s doing it first and foremost for herself. (No, don’t be egocentric, it’s obviously not for you 😉 ). Like when a woman puts on pants, or a shirt, or wears a moustache! We do things for ourselves first…
And concentrating on ourselves allows us to leave others in peace. 🙂
As tolerant as it is intolerant!
I know that being gifted is linked to this dichotomy: high-potential, zebra, gifted! Very tolerant, but on the other hand very intolerant… Simply because I don’t understand people who aren’t tolerant! Once again, a no-brainer for me… But what’s obvious to a high potential may not be obvious to someone who isn’t gifted…
So I’m taking this opportunity to issue a little reminder (which needs to be shared with the world, yes nothing less!):
just because a woman puts on a skirt or shows a bit of cleavage, doesn’t mean that another person (man or woman) should believe that this is a call to touch her, whistle at her, challenge her or piss her off ^^! No no no, a woman can only be sexy to please herself, to feel beautiful, to please and above all to please herself…
It’s also so obvious to me that we don’t actually touch people when they don’t want to be touched! I don’t even understand why it’s not obvious to everyone !!!
Who likes to be groped or touched like that, for no reason? Nobody likes to be assaulted, nobody likes to be insulted, nobody likes to be pushed around or robbed! So why do you people do it??? What’s your problem, seriously! (Yes, as I say this I am indignant and angry….)
At what point can we believe that because a woman is wearing sexy clothes we can get away with groping her and telling her you wanted it and deserved it! Honestly, sometimes human beings are serious…
Nature gave us brains, but sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea! Or we’d all have to live naked, so at least we’d all be equal! What’s more, they say the species is adaptable, and we’d all end up covered in hair, so there’d be no need to wax, which would be a relief for everyone!
Zebra, the fight against injustice, hypocrisy and stupidity!
When my buddies (man or woman, I insist, sometimes women can be even harder on each other, so you’ll have to explain to me why there’s so much hatred and jealousy ^^.I always tell them to imagine it’s your sister, your mother, your cousin, your girlfriend or your wife! And imagine a fat slob or some poor girl coming up to her, hissing at her, groping her, insulting her…
If someone says to me, no way, my wife or sister would never dress like that, I don’t even try to argue anymore, I just think that the world is even worse than I imagined and this person is no longer my friend ahahaha…
I confess, this kind of talk and action just pisses me off. I just want to shoot people like that because it’s because of this kind of behavior that we find it harder and harder to live together. Very half-measure as always! It’s just because it touches me and also because I think it’s unfair and a shame. It’s up to us to make it work!
It’s like racism, I can’t stand racist people, whites towards blacks or Arabs, but I can’t stand blacks who don’t like Arabs either, or whites and Arabs who don’t like whites or blacks.
Because, in fact, we have so many ancestors and genes in common that we’re all a bit black, white, yellow and green! I don’t know if this video is real, or if it’s a PR campaign, but in any case I find it beautiful, and I hope in my heart of hearts that it tells the truth about who we are!
I don’t understand men who don’t like women and women who don’t like women and women who don’t like men!
Firstly, because we all come from the same species, and more importantly, we were all born on the same planet! We belong to the same planet, the same earth…
And we’re all affected by the same things… If the world’s climate deteriorates, whether we’re black or white, religious or not, we’ll all be in the same boat!
It’s not rocket science, vindiou! Come on, a little theory on evolution, it doesn’t hurt anyone 😉
Zebra, intolerance to violence and injustice.
I’m tired of all this… That’s the word, human beings tire me out with their interstellar stupidity! And as much as I love and believe in human beings, I sometimes hate us… I hate what people are capable of doing… The violence we can have towards each other… It’s really terrible…
And frankly, as a zebra, it weighs on me. My hypersensitivity means I don’t even watch the news anymore, it’s all driving me crazy… I think we’re the only natural species to self-destruct… Proof of innovation, intelligence and progress? I don’t think so!
As a result, everything went to hell! We live in a world where insecurity is becoming the norm and I find that scary… Today, when someone is nice to us, for free, we find it weird, we wonder what’s behind it…
I believe that tolerance is something that each and every one of us can embody, and that each and every one of us can fight against stereotypes, judgments and fear of others!
Because I’m an eternally and deeply optimistic person. optimistic I strive every day to make the world a better place. I’m counting on you to help me make the world a more tolerant place!
Don’t forget :
Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you, even if you’re in a hurry 😀
It’s up to us to change attitudes. Because 1+1+1+1+1 = all of us!
You can also find more information, resources and tools on Giftedness in Mel POINAS‘ book. With a lot of humor, Mel tells the story of the discovery of her giftedness and the routines she put in place to finally find her place!
Le livre
Écrit par une HPI !
Un témoignage et des solutions concrètes pour découvrir, comprendre et apprendre à vivre en étant HPI.
To go further, you can read
- Gifted, learning to let go
- What is an atypical profile?
- The best books about High Learning Potential
- Characteristics of High Potential
- Giftedness and Hypersensitivity
